Why Rush?

Staff writer Frank Friedlander‘s post for this week covers ways to figure out the type of person and relationship you’re with after the honeymoon stage.

There comes a point in every relationship when things may be progressing well, but has come to the point of starting to dig beyond the surface. Although the courtship stage may still be in effect and the connection is certainly there, the relationship hits a shit or get off the pot stage; it’s always good to get a more in depth idea of what type of personality to expect once the pixie dust has worn off. The Prince might not necessarily be a frog, and Cinderella won’t always wind up being a burned out scullery maid; but throughout the early stages of a relationship, people are going to progressively morph into the person you can expect to be with in the long run.


While there’s a lot to be said for enjoying the honeymoon phase while it lasts, it’s also not unreasonable to desire some degree of insight as to the type of personality that you’ll ultimately end up with. If you are the type that wants to bypass the wait and get a glimpse into the future, I have concocted a simple and legal method of doing so; one which will not likely come back to haunt you, as snooping and Facebook stalking can. Just give them an impromptu driver’s test.


I’m sure that at one point in our lives, we’ve all taken a driver’s test. Maybe it was five years ago, maybe ten, maybe much longer. I’m also sure that when we took our driver’s test, we were very cautious to do everything by the book so that we could pass the test, get our license, and then be free to drive as carefully or recklessly as we please. Similarly, when interested in parlaying a few dates into a long-term relationship, our overall temperament is quite different from what can be expected of us as a whole. Here, you are following a series of rules or regulations, some of which you will continue to follow, others which will be cast out the window as soon as you feel comfortable enough doing so.


What I am proposing is to get an idea of what happens when they are not following these rules or regulations, and it’s quite simple, really. Regardless of how calm and carefree someone may seem on the surface, there is one situation in which one’s true colors have a habit of shining through; I’m speaking of rush hour traffic. Allow me to explain the various scenarios, and what they often mean in regards to the driver’s overall temperament:


Too Slow

Many highways will have signs posted which read one simple instruction: “Slower Traffic Keep Right.” While many truck drivers and elderly women ignore this sign, it’s generally a courtesy to those who actually have someplace to be that if you can’t keep up with the flow of traffic, don’t gum it up. While I understand that there are those who may not feel comfortable on a busy road, they should really follow this rule. If you’re on the freeway with a driver who does not follow this rule, there’s a good chance that they may be on the selfish or inconsiderate side, though they may not be aware of this. They’re not bad people, but they could really learn a thing or two when it comes to etiquette. This type of behavior is in fact fixable, assuming that you are willing to approach them about the nature of the problem.


On the other hand, there are those who drive too slow and are considerate enough to remain in the right lane allowing everyone to pass them as they proceed at their own pace. Sometimes it’s due to indecisiveness; but at other times, it’s because they’re simply the meek and mild mannered mentioned earlier. If you’re the dominant type, and are attracted to the submissive type, this relationship should work out well for both sides. On the other hand, if meek and mild mannered isn’t your thing, it might not work out so well.


Too Fast

On the other side of the spectrum, there’s the driver who’s hell bent on zipping down the freeway, regardless of how many cars may be between them and their destination. Sometimes they’re in a hurry, others they just want to go as fast as they can, and they can go about this in different ways.


One common way of doing this is to ride the motorist in front of them until they move out of the way, and then ride the next motorist until they get out of the way and repeat the process until nobody else is in their way. While this is not particularly dangerous (so long as they’re good with the brakes) this is a tell-tell sign that you’re dealing with a passive aggressive individual. Somebody who knows what they want, and they’re willing to strongly hint at it, though they won’t come out and ask for it, and certainly won’t exert themselves to get it.


Then, there’s the driver who zips from lane to lane all willy-nilly. Sometimes they’re at least considerate enough to signal their lane change, sometimes not. Those that don’t are the worst variety. Despite the fact that if anything, they stand to get to where they’re going about a minute or two sooner, they’re wiling to sacrifice the safety of themselves, whoever’s in the car with them, and anyone else who dares to get between them and the exit they’re looking for. You should probably try to avoid this type. A lot of the time they’re the successful types, driving a BMW or Mercedes who have gotten where they are by stepping on the heads of those in their way, without a care as to what happens to them once they’ve passed them up. Other times, they’re not remotely successful, and are just proud of their pimped out 2002 Celica. They may give out an aura of confidence. They may seem like the dangerous type, which is a turn on to some. However, in the long run, what matters to them are themselves and the agendas, and to hell with anything or anyone that gets in their way: this means you. Essentially, it’s like those that are attracted to the bad boys, and are left heartbroken when it turns that they’re…wait for it, a bad boy. If in the car with this type, once you finally get out of the car, kiss the ground a few times and make sure that you don’t get back in.


In Between

And then there are those who just move along, minding their own business. They go with the flow of traffic, not cutting anyone off, but occasionally getting around that little old lady from group one who refuse to keep right. This usually denotes an even keeled personality, and certainly doesn’t give off any notable warning signs. They just want to arrive at their destination safely, and ideally in as timely of a fashion as possible; even though they understand that this is rush hour, and there are other cars on the road, lots of them, and you can’t bypass everyone. They’re not perfect, nor are they striving to be. They’re not over aggressive, and they’re not unusually meek or indecisive. If you do put your partner to this test, and get on the highway during rush hour, this is who you ideally want to be driving the car. Congratulations.


But Wait!

Who says that you have to get on the freeway to begin with? Especially during rush hour, it’s never a pleasant ride. Even at the down hours, it’s still overpriced, and those tolls seem to go up a lot more often than they should. There are plenty of ways to go about getting somewhere, and no matter the destination, those loud, busy freeways are never the only game in town. One would think that more people would be aware of this, but as it turns out, very few seem to be. Those that are tend to have a more enjoyable ride, as do their passengers. Whether they have a good GPS service, or they simply know their way around, there are always the side streets. They may not always get you to your destination as quickly, but it’s a calmer, more relaxing ride, and the scenery tends to be a lot better. And shouldn’t that be what life’s all about? Sometimes the ride’s just as important as the destination, and in a successful relationship, this should always be the case. Be happy. Enjoy one another, and when you get there, you get there. Let rest of them have the freeway.