How to Do a Background Check on Your New Date

This is a wonderful article from guest blogger, Alexandra from Background Hawk on arming yourself with information when meeting someone new. Enjoy, comment, and share!

 

It takes a lot of effort and calming of the nerves to get to know someone on a deeper level and actually trust them enough to want to go out on a real face-to-face date with them; and in the crazy world we live in today, if you aren’t 100% sure that the John you imagined meeting, really is who he says he is, then chances are you could be up for some major disappointment…or worse.

There are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t even blink at the idea of misleading you and creating a picture of someone and something they really aren’t. Basic instinct should be your first guide when dealing with a prospective new date. How you feel about the guy should tell you what to do, but if your head and your heart aren’t on the same bandwagon, there are a few steps you can take in order to do your own research.

  • Take a peek into his different online persona’s

Platforms such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram give you a personal and more detailed peek into someone’s personality, even though it may only be what they are showing the virtual world, it could still give you some pointers. If his profile is bombarded with crass images and millions of friends it should be sending of some alarms. Snoop around a bit. A little Facebook browsing never hurt anyone.

 

 

  • Make use of free public searches

If you’re not having luck digging up any dirt on the social media platforms, then head on over to the public records. Sure you can do it old school and hit the local courts to sift through the records to see if he’s got any dirt hidden in the closet (but that could take ages, and in today’s fast paced world, who has the time for that?), or you can play it easy, and use sites such as www.criminalsearches.com , which has all the criminal records form the United States listed on there. If they appear on the public records then you should be able to find it there.

 

 

  • Dig a little deeper

There’s a site called www.PeekYou.com that gives you a summary of all the different social media profiles that one person has. Take what you find here and compare it carefully. If he’s an IT manager in his one “life” and an Art Director in the next, head for the hills, ASAP! Sites like these work great in giving you a perspective of what exactly makes himself out to be and can really help you when you want to try to determine who and what he really is.

 

  • Get in touch

Okay so no one likes to be a snooper, but every once in a while you have to simply take a deep breath and gather the guts to actually phone or meet up with one of his friends. Ask about who he is and what he’s all about. His friends might not be all too eager to spill the beans about him; but this is well worth a shot, and you might just find some info that could otherwise remain unheard of here.

 

  • Get an OPEN perspective of things

If you haven’t heard of it by bow, do yourself a favor and go check out the site www.Openbook.org . It lists all archived comments and posts a specific person (obviously the one you are digging into) has ever made or been tagged in on Facebook. This step might be a little border line stalker behavior, but hey, you never know what you could uncover with a little browsing!

 

  • Do a DEEP Internet Search

Sometimes due to the fact that we tend to use either the wrong passwords or the fact that we just don’t know exactly what to search for search engines such as Google and Bing will omit results or just not see them as relevant and thus you’ll end up without a hit on what you’re searching for. This is where sites such as www.Pipl.com come in, and man is it handy! It’s a little more like a people networking site but it does some crazy deep web digging, and goes into places and spaces that Google wont. If he exists on the internet then chances are Pipl will have something on him.

The tactics we talked about here are ways in which you can conduct your own form of online research and do a little DIY Background checking on that potential date you have in mind. If all else fails and you still don’t have any dodgy details, he might actually be who he says he is, but if you still have a weird instinctive feeling that all isn’t as it seems then do yourself a favor and get help from the pros.

An advanced background check from a quality service provider will get you all the details you ever needed and so much more. Their results are accurate and up to date – but you have to be sure you use a reputable and reliable service provider. They can get you details on just about anything from criminal history to driving offenses listings and more, but off course the services they deliver do come at a price. Good things are hard to come by and they certainly don’t come for free. It’s something well worth investing in if you have a creepy feeling about someone!

To round things up, there are countless ways in which the internet can help you conduct a quick and effective background check on someone. Not all players in the dating game are that bad, and not everyone is out to get you, but the reality is that there really are cyber stalkers and cons out there who would love the opportunity to take you for a ride. The golden rule however still remains: trust your gut instinct. If something or someone looks too good to be true, then sadly, it probably is and you should be heading in the opposite direction.

Alexandra is a member of the BackgroundHawk.com team, bringing you tips on how to date safely, and reviews of background checking services.

Nags…How Men Create Them

Here’s an entertaining article about the creation of the “human nag” by staff writer Rigby Rat. Now men, if you’re going to complain about being nagged, wouldn’t you take care to not cause the situation in the first place. Thomas Jefferson said it best: “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”

 

If your wife asks you to do something, do you do it?  If you don’t, does she ask you a second time?  A third time?  You just created a nag.

 

Why would a guy turn his wife into a nag?  Why, indeed?  But let’s recall who he first turned into a nag: his mother.  She would have said something like this – “Jack, please take out the garbage.  Jack did you take out the garbage?  Jack, if you don’t take the garbage out right now…”

 

Even most dogs – when you tell them once – will respond immediately.  “Come on Rocky, let’s go for a walk.”  And BAM, your dog flies out the front door.  You guys?  You aren’t as frisky, inclined, or as intelligent as a dog when it comes to taking care of business the first time.  Instead, you procrastinate.  And isn’t procrastination an attractive trait in a man?

 

Food for thought: When the mistress asks you over and over and over again to leave the “old ball and chain,” I bet you don’t refer to HER as a nag.

 

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The Power of Faith

I had a phone conversation with my mom yesterday intending to merely catch up and to wish her well on her birthday. What I got out of the conversation was a reminder of the power of calling into being things that haven’t occurred but that we want in our lives, or simply the power of faith.

In the course of the conversation, we spoke about work, future hobbies, and the current state of my writing adventure. I have been very blessed in having so many opportunities to share my thoughts and my work with blogs, websites, and publications. And with this in mind, I told my mom about my intentions of writing a book based parts of my blog. I had planned, started, and fallen off the wagon many times when it’s come to my book projects; but there is something infinitely fulfilling and uplifting in working on a book project that comes from personal experiences and life lessons. Upon hearing my passion for this new project, my mom began a prayer while on the phone with me. I had a Christian upbringing so this didn’t come as a surprise, but I haven’t actively gone to church in quite some years. I was honored and touched that my mom believed so much in me and my project, that she would say a prayer with and for me. And in this time of connection with my mom, I remembered so many times of doubt and troubled times and praying with my mom and praying by myself which helped to bring peace.

While there are plenty of people out there that don’t believe in God; and I respect that, most of us can agree to there being a “Higher Power” and can think of times during which we sent up a prayer about something. Sometimes, it just that small moment that can mean a lot and be the push we need to move steady on.

 

I hope you enjoyed this post and send your own “faith moments”. Friend me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or email me directly at kelleyesrobinson@gmail.com. Cheers and love to everyone!

All the World’s a Stage and So Are Relationships

Does your relationship resemble a stage play? Do you feel as if your responses and actions are scripted according to someone else’s or even your mate’s thoughts and plans? This type of behavior is common in relationship and is even seen as normal. While some relationships can maintain a deference to one side or the other successfully, most cannot thrive under these circumstances and are doomed to fail in their constant plays for power. So why deal with conflict? Just give in to your mate and you don’t have anything to worry about. This is a common response and one not conducive to a healthy relationship. For a healthy relationship, both parties need to be more than physically present. There has a be a present connection mentally and emotionally as well. You can’t have a healthy relationship with a puppet. The thing I can’t stress enough is the need for open communication to ensure that both parties are on the same page; and if not, can they get on the same page. If not, then you need to move on. Try making relationships less of a performing act and more of a partnership in writing the story.

 

 

 

Follow on Twitter at intrnalsearch and friend me on Facebook at Kelleye Robinson.

Is Conversation A Lost Art?

In this age of Twitter, Facebook, and text messaging, are we socially handicapping ourselves with social media outlets? Today, we’ve become so used to 140-160 characters or less exchanges that full length conversations have gone to the wayside. In the dating world, it seems to be preferred to choose a venue in which chatting isn’t necessary or is even frowned on for first date choices. We’ve become so “instant-gratification” oriented that if we’re not impressed in the first few minutes of meeting, we move on. When did conversation become so overrated?

Many relationships and relationships that could have been come to a screeching halt due to confusion, miscommunication, and or no communication. Is it because we want the other person to be intuitive like our technology supposedly able to know what we are thinking without our having to complete the thought? We seem to want a prospective date that comes with a you-tube how-to video rather than take the time to take the other person for a test drive by getting to know them and seeing what happens. You can’t always judge a book by its cover or know everything you need to about another person in 5 minutes or less. Take the time to engage in conversation; you might be pleasantly surprised to see what you find out after the 160th character.