Oral Sex

Staff writer Rigby Rat talks about the huge desire for oral sex as part of sexual intimacy.

One day, a good friend of mine called and invited me to dinner. We hadn’t seen one another for several years. I cleared my schedule and around seven-thirty that evening found myself a block from the Empire State Building happily hugging my dinner companion. But before heading uptown, my friend hooked his arm in mine and directed me toward a three-story building he had just purchased. “You’re kidding. You bought a business?” I said. He replied, “No, I didn’t buy a business. I’m starting one. Wait until you see this.”

Minutes later, I stood inside what was to become not only one of New York City’s most popular Gentleman’s Clubs, but one of the few clubs that would survive the mayor’s aggressive crackdown on adult establishments. After taking a tour of the building, I asked my friend if I could interview his strippers and their clientele for an exposé I wanted to write on why men buy intimacy. He said, “Go for it.” So, I did. I spent two years – one evening each month – interviewing strippers and their clientele.

One of the questions I asked the men was: Describe your perfect night of love-making. Seventy-one out of eighty men all answered that their perfect night of love-making would start with oral sex. Here is what some of them said:

“My perfect night of love-making… we would have oral sex first, then intercourse, spanking, and kissing.”

“The perfect night of love-making will start with her going down on me and then me going down on her. Oral sex first. For both of us.”

“My perfect night of love-making would start off with oral sex. Both doing each other, then leading off to other stuff.”

Ladies, what does that tell you? That almost 89 % of the men I interviewed enjoy/want oral sex. And they want oral sex before intercourse! So what’s a dating couple – who haven’t gotten sexually intimate yet – to do? Communicate. You men who want oral sex, remember, communication always precedes sexual intimacy. Meaning, discuss with her what you like weeks BEFORE you get naked. Ladies, this is the time for you to respond, “I enjoy giving head” or “I have never given head, you’ll have to teach me” or “I don’t give head. Never will.” Those ladies who “never will”, just remember the above statistics and think about reconsidering. Why? Because it is beautiful and satisfying to be with someone that you can make love to not only with your body, but with your mouth.

And, guys, just remember, true sexual intimacy doesn’t lie between the covers of men’s magazines, nor can it be found in a Gentleman’s Club. It lies between the bed sheets… as long as you make honesty, respect, and communication your priority. With those three elements in place, then love, desire, and sexual intimacy will never diminish in intensity.

My Best Friend Slept With My Husband. Now What?

This article by staff writer, Rigby Rat, tackles a situation that is a nightmare almost every woman never wants to be a part of. If you have ever been in this situation or know someone who has, please feel free to email me with your story to share.

This happened to a friend of mine. She was incredibly civilized about the ordeal. Hubby’s breach of the marriage contract did not send her swallowing fistfuls of antidepressants, or grabbing the largest steak knife from the kitchen drawer and hurling it at the bastard. Instead, she waxed philosophical. For several days she methodically revisited her history with her husband. Then she looked for the answer to this question: What part did I play in my husband’s straying?

Does a woman play a part in her husband’s straying? Absolutely. Men are insecure creatures; more so than women. Bruise their ego and they step into another woman’s embrace (or a strip joint) for validation that they are worthy of love, sexual intimacy, and attention.

However, when a guy’s self-esteem is dwindling, that doesn’t give him the right to switch partners. Instead, he needs to sit you down and have a heart to heart. What should you do? Shut up and listen. Don’t bring up YOUR feelings, just zip it for once in your life and empathize. Pay attention to what he wants, or doesn’t want: more sex, more hand-holding, showers together, no name-calling, no arguments, a kiss goodbye every morning…

If your husband already slept with your best friend, it’s your decision as to whether you want to kick him in the nuts, or remain rationally calm. Know this: if you’re in a relationship, it takes two – two to make the relationship fail, or two to make the relationship succeed.

What did my friend do? She divorced her husband and remained amicable with him. He married the best friend. My friend attended the wedding. She harbors no ill will, carries no baggage, nor stuffs herself with chocolate bars and pints of Häagen-Dazs. Is this the answer for everyone? No. However, clemency and moving on sure beats the hell out of a lifetime of acrimony.


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