The Loveliness of New

Have  you ever met someone that you connected with right away? Have you ever felt that initial impression bringing a smile to your face? Have you felt the surety that what is happening in that time is pure and genuine? Oh new infatuation.  That first inkling of promise, the shining hope that this new thing remains as good and as wonderful as it began. I just got to experience that very recently, and I can’t wait to see what happens next. I have the luxury of at least emailing with this person daily which helps bridge the life/distance gap, and in some ways, keeps things from getting too complicated too fast. I’m not saying to over-think and find a list of everything that could go wrong, but I would say watch the signs. Watch for any red flags and pay attention to what’s being said and unsaid. More times than not, the actions could show way more or way more truthfully what’s really going on in someone’s mind. It’s best to go into every new relationship with eyes wide open, heart leading the way with your brain as your navigation system. As for me with MY new, full steam ahead hoping for all the best.

Broken Promises

This week’s post by staff writer Rigby Rat shows why it is important to keep your word once given and to come clean ASAP when you know you can’t. Guys, this one’s for you; sometimes the freak-out is completely justified!

Did you promise her a diamond and give her an opal instead?  Or how about this – months ago, did you swear you’d take her to a quiet little romantic restaurant and, when the date rolled around, did you chuck it for a guys’ night out?

When you promise you are going to give something to her, or do something with her, she has an expectation that something will happen.  Why?  Because you have planted that expectation in her head and in her heart.

That’s not to say a guy can’t change his mind.  But here’s the thing – once you’ve changed it in YOUR mind, that’s when you tell her.  You NEVER spring your change of mind/heart on her last minute, or months later.  You especially never tell her after she has opened the Tiffany’s box:  “Things have changed”.  If you do, she will never trust you again AND you’ll be looked upon as a liar.

So, if you told her in January that you’re going to buy her a diamond for her birthday in May and, come April, you’ve blown all your money on man-gadgets, that’s when you tell her – in April, not on her birthday. AND TELL HER WHY!  “Honey, I got a bit carried away buying man-gadgets, so I don’t have enough funds to buy you that diamond.  I’m really sorry”.  Depending upon whom you’re with, she will either be understanding, or madder than a wet hen.  Either way, you have to validate her feelings.  Then, promise yourself – and her – that you’ll curtail your spending, and then keep your promise.  Your word is your word.  Keep it, and you’ll keep her.

And if you can’t keep your promises?  Then keep your mouth shut and don’t put expectations in her head and in her heart.

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