IT’S HIS FIRST DATE WITH HER AND HE HASN’T A CLUE

We all get a little hung up on what to do on first dates from time to time. This week, staff writer Rigby Rat give us some helpful hints on how to handle a first date. What do you think?

I went to a Cameron Carpenter organ recital this weekend at the Princeton University Chapel.  Not familiar with Cameron’s flair, forte, talent, tight-fitting shirts, taut tush, sexy dancing feet, or jumbo video screens?  The screens are set up so fans can watch him play.  Watch an organist?  Who watches an organist?  Go to a Cameron Carpenter concert and you’ll understand why.  Checkout his Web site for tour dates: www.cameroncarpenter.com

So my friend and I are sitting in this incredibly uncomfortable pew waiting for Cameron to entertain and woo us when a guy sitting behind us starts talking to his friend about how it’s his first date with this chick he knows from college and he hasn’t a clue as to what to do.

Guys, here’s what to do on the first date:

1.  Dress the part.  Meaning, wear proper attire for the occasion.

2.  Smile a lot.  Smiling lets her know you’re confident.  Also, that you’re happy.

3.  Compliment her.  If you like her perfume or her smile, tell her so.

4.  Engage her in conversation, but don’t let her do all the talking.

5.  Speak clearly.  (There is nothing attractive about a mumbler.)

6.  Make eye contact.  She needs to know you’re being attentive.

7.  If at a restaurant, be conscious of your table manners.

8.  If at a restaurant, order something that isn’t smelly.

9.  Bring her a little gift.  My suggestion is a gift certificate for two movie tickets.

You can tell her that if the date doesn’t work out, she can take someone else.

10. Turn your cell phone off.

Anticipation

As morning dawned, Emma felt full of energy in spite of little sleep due to her constant thoughts of Gabe and their impending first date. “God, I’m acting like a teenage girl with her first crush!”, Emma muttered to herself. But she just didn’t care. This was the first time in years she felt quite like this and she liked it. “Hmm, I wonder what Gabe’ll cook up for our date…”, Emma mused. As her imagination took over in think of just what she’d be in for in a couple of days, Emma prepared for her day and got ready to go to work at the advertising firm she worked for.

A few blocks away in another apartment, Gabe was finishing his first cup of coffee and preparing to pour his second as classical music wafted softly through the air and his laptop hummed waiting for him to continue working on his new book. He had been incredibly productive since like Emma, he hadn’t slept much either and had been already writing for the day since about 6am. He hummed along to the piece currently playing on one of his Pandora classical stations he usually played while he wrote and walked back over to his desk thinking about the night before with. Emma. He grinned thinking of her laugh and the way the little dimple in her left cheek winked at his whenever she was amused. “Yep,”, Gabe thought to himself. “I’m falling hard and fast for this one.” But he had to admit, it didn’t worry him nearly as much as it would have in the past. In fact, he couldn’t wait for his first date with Emma and the only thing he did regret was setting it for Saturday rather Friday. Oh well, there was nothing he could do about it now except be patient and use the extra day to make Saturday perfect. Gabe couldn’t remember the last time he wanted to try so hard to impress a girl, but something told him that Emma was definitely worth it. Gabe smiled and went right back to work writing someone else’s love story while he contemplated the start of his own.

Dos and Don’ts of First Dates

Trying to make it to the second date?  Check out these Dos and Don’ts that could help put you on the road to second date glory.

1) DO be on time. First dates are like job interviews. First impressions matter A LOT. You don’t want to start off on the wrong foot by being late. Since you both are taking time out of your schedules to spend time together, you should both be considerate of one another’s time. If one or the other is late, it is viewed as if the person wasn’t deemed important enough to be on time for. It sets a negative tone and sets questions in the mind about whether or not that person is inconsiderate in other ways.

2) DON’T talk about your ex. The date is about you and the person you’re with. Don’t make it a threesome with the ghost of your ex. One way to sink a date quickly is to constantly make comparisons between your date and your ex. No one likes feeling second best.

3) DO let yourself be in the moment. Let yourself be mentally and emotionally available to really gauge whether or not you can see yourself allowing a second date. Enjoy the person. Pay attention to what they’re saying. Contribute to the conversation. This will help to determine whether or not the two of you have enough in common to move forward. Physical attraction is great, but eventually, it won’t be enough to sustain a relationship.

4) DON’T get sloppy. No one likes to be with someone who doesn’t know how to be appropriate. It’s okay to drink while on a date, but it’s NOT okay to get drunk. Know your limit and stay sharp. And while eating, show that you know some table manners and use your napkin to wipe your mouth and don’t chew with your mouth open or talk with food in your mouth.

5) DO make a good last impression. If you’ve decided that you’d like a second date, then show it. Make the first move and suggest a second date. There’s no time like the present. Don’t play games. If you want to see the person, then say so. If not, don’t jerk them around by giving false hope. Let them know where they stand. It’s a much more mature way of handling things then leaving that person with “The Guessing Game” as a consolation prize.

The Date Is In The Details

Whatever happened to the days of flowers and candy on the first date? The days in which no pressure dates during which the most important thing that was happening was the thrill of discovery? The days in which the first kiss was something to aspire to and not just a small step on the way to getting the other person into bed? Sometimes, simplicity isn’t such a bad thing. We’re so caught up in the endgame that we forget the little details along the way. Transfer a few thoughts towards the little things, and you might realize that a little goes a long way.