I Have a Healthy Sex Drive and I’m Not Ashamed of It

I’ve always been fascinated with sex from a fairly early age. I basically inhaled romance novels growing up through my high school years fantasizing what it would be like to have someone who wanted me so much that they wanted to see me naked. Amazing! I pretty much knew the mechanics of it but was holding on with a tightly clenched fist to my girlish need for everything around my “first time” to be perfect. I wanted to have my first time to be with a guy I was madly in love with who would make sure everything about that time was perfect, just like in the books. I held onto this up to adulthood (18) and even slightly past. After dating for a while and not feeling the magic I thought I should feel when I KNEW this was the right time and person, I just found a guy I thought attractive and thought to be a likely candidate for enjoyment if not romance and everlasting love and slept with him. I knew the violin swelling romance wasn’t in the cards for this assignation, but damn it! Couldn’t I at least have some enjoyment?! Sadly no, I was in that ever-widening group of people whose first time they’d rather forget.

I didn’t give up sex after that to be sure; in fact, I went through a sexual discovery mission trying out various guys from different walks of life and fulfillment reasons for my purposes for almost two years until I decided to actually try a monogamous romantic relationship. The thing you never really get from romance novels is that a true relationship takes work and doesn’t just “happen”. Even “perfect” relationships require an effort from both parties and the understanding that communication is crucial to try to avoid repeat mistakes and having the same pitfalls follow the relationship. I felt fairly open sexually and even liberated with my previous experience, but I never really got real with myself about communicating my wants and needs in the bedroom. Once it wore down or I got bored, I would leave. When I was in a relationship and didn’t get what I needed to be satisfied, I got angry. Neither of these were really healthy responses. One response gave me the opportunity to “hit it and quit it” and not really have consequences for it; but the other just made sex a struggle and added problems to the relationship because I felt that if this person really cared for me, he would just KNOW what was wrong and fix it.

Sadly, real relationships aren’t like book or movie relationships. Your significant other can’t figure you out through osmosis and problems are not solved by leaving dramatically only to have you both to figure out that you’re perfect for each other without ever having to really solve whatever caused the fight and flight in the first place. I’m sorry, but relationships do get tense and hard situations and conversations will need to occur if any growth is going to happen.

Sex is a dance, it’s poetry, it’s art, it’s a gift, it’s a question, it’s an answer, it’s a connection. Sex should never be demeaning or shameful. I’m a healthy female who enjoys sex and is not afraid of it. It took quite a bit of introspection to get real about my feelings concerning sex. When I realized that sex is every bit as much about my wants and needs as it is about the guy’s, it became far more enjoyable for me to explore. Sex is an exploration, of your wants, your needs, your boundaries. Push your boundaries and have fun but be safe about it and never let someone else decide what your boundaries should be.

My Ex Asked Me To Meet for Coffee…And I Said, Yes.

First of all, this did NOT turn out like a plot in a rom-com nor did I expect it to. It was as awkward and uncomfortable as I imagined it would be…okay, it was even more so than I imagined; and I have a very good imagination. But back to the story, it had been nearly a year since we had been in the same room together, much less face to face sharing a table. There were a lot of mixed emotions there…First off, there was a feeling of expectation. Of what? That is still undetermined. There were also feelings of curiosity, of “what if”, of awkwardness, and of surety. My curiosity stemmed from wondering what motive could have influenced my ex to reach out to me. The “what if” was what most “what ifs” are: “What if we didn’t break up when we did?” “What if we never spoke or saw each other again?” and the like. The awkwardness was for obvious reasons…I had thought of our seeing each other again but you never quite get the amount of awkwardness you’ll feel quite right. And let me tell you, it was ridiculously awkward. And lastly, there was a surety. And that surety was that we were absolutely meant to go our separate ways ultimately; we were never meant for a “happy ever after” with each other. And now, I could really know it and internalize it on a complete level. I don’t wish any ill will towards my ex. I wholeheartedly wish him every happiness. Would I have still decided to meet him knowing the awkwardness that would ensue? Yes, I would because we had time to get through the destructive feelings that too little time would have put on blast. We had an open and honest conversation about what ultimately lead us to break up and finally buried it. We banished “what ifs”, satisfied curiosities, and conquered our past misunderstandings. Will we be friends now? I can’t say for sure. Only time will tell. Is that door open with a better mat at the door? I think so. Again, only time will  tell what happens. But, I can say this, in spite of all the awkwardness, I gained complete peace.

The Silent Brush-off: Kind or Cowardly?

The silent brush-off, a occurrance while not being something that happens to EVERYONE, is at least something we’re familiar with however directly or indirectly the situation may have been, is something of a touchy issue with dating and relationships. You may find yourself in the situation of he/she is just not into you anymore and wonder: “what happened?”. The problem is, that person just may not be available to give you the answer to that question. There are some instances in which that person may have been in a situation in which they had to just cut all communication with no warning; however, the more common case is just that that person was just not man or woman enough to just tell what the situation is and walk rather than adding unnecessary questions for the sake of less drama. What is really the case is that the “duck and run” method to ending things isn’t taking away the drama; it’s just transferring the drama and giving a double burden to the one left with countless questions. So in closing, I have just this advice: if you feel the need to end a relationship with someone, just be straight with them, in person if possible, because if that person has to be brave enough to face rejection, then you should be brave enough to address things face to face and deal with the fall-out. While no one likes rejection, no one respects a coward.

Love: A Field of Dreams?

One thing that seems to be a common vehicle of relationships is a “field of dreams approach” to happy ever after. I don’t disagree to this approach on the face of it; however, I do disagree with how most people “build their fields”. I believe that honesty is the undisputable piece of land that all relationships must be built upon. Love can be a wonderful thing, but it also one of the most powerful. Love is blind, a chameleon, a veritable jack of all trades that can be a master of someone to the point that nothing else matters than the object of that love. When this happens, the field of love becomes obsession. This obsession is usually based on a tunnel-visioned dishonesty. By this, I mean that the “obsessed one” is so full of their own feelings that they feel that the feelings are mutual; but that for whatever reason, these feelings are not out in the open. So they build a life based on what they feel the one they love need or want whether they actually have the encouragement or not.

Building a relationship should be a team effort. It should not be a “let me build a life for them and let them come to the realization that THIS is what they want”. It should be based on honesty (self and with others), respect, affection, communication, and mutual love. If there are red flags, don’t ignore them. Face them head-on and determine whether or not they are deal breakers. If they are, move on; if they can be worked on, get some objective help and work on those problems together.

When building something yourself, the work may be hard but the finished product brings satisfaction. When building a relationship, sharing the work can be a little trying at times because let’s face it, nothing and no one’s perfect; but when you keep communication at the forefront and let each other know that you’re there for one another, the finished product can bring even more satisfaction. Just keep in mind that the finished product is a constant work in progress just like the people working on it.

The building starts with you and needs to move on to include who you want with you on your field of dreams. Start the building with self honesty and when you’re ready for company, don’t forget to send the invites!

How Women F**k-Up Men

This week’s post by staff writer Rigby Rat focuses on why some men have problems with communication in relationships.

 

It starts when he’s a little boy.  The first person who wreaks havoc on his young impressionable brain and heart is – you guessed it – his mother.  One way she forever changes her son: with her stinging, manipulative words.

 

I was at a friend’s backyard swimming pool.  Her sister, Rita, was there.  Rita’s five-year-old son, Max, was standing on the diving board, crying.  He did not want to dive off and into the deep end.  Rita said this: “What are you afraid of?  Be a little man and dive off!”

 

Max looked to me for help.  Rita immediately saw the connection and ramped it up.  She said, “What’s the matter, you can’t be a little man like your father?  You’re pissing me off.  Just jump!”  On that manipulative note, the frightened Max – tears streaming down his red cheeks – dove into the pool.

 

That day, Rita got her way, and Max learned four things:

 

1.  That if he doesn’t allow a female to get her way, he’s going to get verbally and emotionally beat up.

2. That if he doesn’t allow a female to get her way, he won’t be looked upon as “manly”.

3.  So, not to anger a woman and keep the peace, he should always cave.

4. When you cave to a woman, you hand your balls over to her.

 

The sad thing about this scenario is, Max is growing up thinking all women operate like his mother.  Because he thinks this way, and because his mother isn’t teaching him how to express his feelings – or express them appropriately – Max has ceased expressing his feelings.

 

When a man doesn’t express his feelings, we are led to believe that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

 

Men are not from Mars. They come from their mothers’ wombs.

 

Baby boys are born able to express their feelings.  Max was.  I saw his tears.  Sensed his fear.  How come his mama wasn’t being receptive to Max’s feelings, desires, and needs?

 

While Max stood crying on the diving board, Rita bullied her son.  Boys should never be bullied by their mothers, fathers, or coaches.  They should never be manipulated into burying their feelings, wants, or desires.  Instead, they should be encouraged to express their feelings – especially fear – without being judged weak.

 

Now you know where your guy’s deer-in-headlights look comes from when you’re having that big blow-up.  Blame his mother.  Now you know why his communication skills are lacking.  Blame his mother.  Now you know why he hasn’t any balls.  Blame his mother.  Now you know why the only way he expresses himself is with anger.  Blame his mother.

 

On the flip side, guys, once you’re finished blaming your mother, unlearn the behavior mama taught you: clamming up and caving.  It’s never too late to restore what you were born with: the ability to express your feelings.

 

 

 

He Thinks You’re A Pain In The Ass

Staff writer Rigby Rat writes this week about the necessity of the right kind of communication and understanding and establishing boundaries.

Then why doesn’t he tell you?  Why is he telling me?

I had a guy come to the house to service my boiler.  I no sooner began telling him what the problem was, when his cell phone rang.  He said, “It’s my girlfriend.  She’s always calling and bothering me.  What a pain in the ass.  How about yours?”

How would you have answered?  I didn’t.  My personal life is none of his business.

Listen, if my guy were a pain in the ass, I wouldn’t be broadcasting it to the world, or commiserating with the boiler guy.  Instead, I would sit him down and clue him in.  “Babe, I love hearing from you during the day.  Let’s agree on exact times when we can talk.”  There, I just solved two problems: 1.  His calls come at times when they’re welcome and expected.  2.  He’s no longer a pain in the ass.

I wouldn’t commiserate with the boiler guy – or any guy for that matter.  Why?  I wouldn’t want him to get the wrong impression.  Meaning, just because you think we’re kind of in the same boat doesn’t mean I like you, or that we have some kind of connection.  Far from it.  If you’ve got a pain in the ass girlfriend and you’re complaining about her to me, if we become a couple, then it will only be a matter of time before you start bitching about me to the next woman who catches your eye.  No thanks!

Hey, boiler guy, if you took the time to apply yourself to learn how to fix boilers, you can take the time and apply yourself to learn how to fix what ails your relationship.

You Said It, But Did You Mean It?

Love is a multi-faceted and complex emotion, what may seem easy to some, may be a hard road for others. Some people believe in love at first sight and can say, “I love you” almost at the drop of a hat. Some need more than first sight to bring love, and others still need proof that love is actually there and not just lust or intense like.

Love has a way of changing our emotions and thought processes in such a way that when faced with an “I love you”, we’re tempted to either reciprocate whether or not we feel the same or we avoid giving a response that ties us to something serious before we want to or feel ready for. The bell (or rather the words “I love you”) once rung are hard to take back and makes it harder to still feel less pain if a break-up happens in the future.

The insincere or premature “I love you” is just a disaster waiting to happen. If you’re not ready for that step quite yet, then say so. Communication is key to healthy relationships and the lessening of regrets should a relationship fail for any reason. Say you care, show you care; but if you’re not feeling the “I love you”, then for God’s sake DON’T SAY IT! No one likes an “Indian giver”. Talk is cheap, but words still have a value. Say what you mean and mean what you say and don’t forget to calculate the cost for when the words are spoken. Because the person you end up saying it to could end up picking up the tab if you end up running out on the bill.

The Male Orgasm: Kick It Up A Notch

When we typically think about the male orgasm, we typically think only about the penis; but in doing so, we miss so many other ways to give pleasure. So with that in mind, here is the article I promised a couple of weeks ago with some tips I learned at The Pleasure Chest Chicago. Try them out and enjoy!

1)   Talk about comfort levels. Be open in your communication with your partner. You can’t really be sure what your partner is or isn’t open to unless you hear it from them first. While some things might be okay to guess about, sex isn’t one of them. Talk about what you want, what you need to be relaxed and receptive to pleasure, and talk about what you would be open to trying in the future. Don’t forget safety first! Have condoms at the ready, lube for more comfortable and smoother play, and glove it up in addition to the lube for anal play.

2)   Explore. You can think you are the best lover in the world and what you have always done in the past with other partners will work with present and future partners; but this isn’t always the case. What may work with one doesn’t always work with all. The best way to figure out just what gets your partner’s engine revving is to explore your partner’s body (with permission of course) and pay attention to their responses.

3)   Let your lips, tongue, and fingers do the walking. Kissing isn’t just for lips, hands, and necks. You can also use your lips, tongue, and fingers for seduction. To begin, you can both have some wet soapy fun in the shower or tub and use the water and soap as an extra seduction tool. Who said bathing can’t be fun, relaxing, and erotic?  After you two get squeaky clean, then you can proceed to get a little or very dirty…Take your man by the hand and move towards a flat surface to move on to the next part of the fun. With your fingertips, start at the scalp and massage to help make your partner as relaxed as possible and slowly start moving down his body. As you move towards his temples and further down the body, you should add your lips and tongue to the relaxation and stimulation. When you get to the genitals, have fun with exploring the pelvic area, his balls, and the far underestimated sweet spot between his balls and anus. Try some light scratching, and then start adding some pressure to massage with your fingertips. Don’t forget to make this interactive and ask what he likes and how hard and how soft he wants you to touch him. If you decide to do a little more direct prostate play, lube it and glove it up and start slowly so he can relax first and leave the penis for last.  Think of the penis as being like a tasty popsicle or ice cream cone and start from the bottom or top depending how you want to start your endgame tongue tease, just make sure you don’t neglect any spot from head to shaft. Listen to your partner’s responses both verbal and non-verbal to get a roadmap to all the right spots to send your partner into orbital orgasmic bliss. Once know the spots that will be sure to make your partner’s body sing, and then they’ll be putty in your hands.

Go make your weekend sizzle and enjoy!

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Shiustrology Report for April 2012

As promised, here is the shiustrology teasers from the amazing Ellen Whitehurst. 3 cheers for a wonderfully productive April!

ARIES SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Finally!  You’re going to start to see things going your way Aries and boy oh boy are you ever ready!  And when I say that everything is going to move forward I do mean energies in your love life as well!  Loving yourself is a key and major theme of April as well, especially after some wear and tear coming courtesy another more rankling relationship.  As you are doing all this moving forward this month you might just want to leave this troublemaker behind.  Stay focused on all the romance spring fever is promising to heat up for you and move both confidently and confidentially into future that absolutely wants to surround you with more positive and supportive friends and colleagues who really do want to see you succeed.  Please don’t let one upsetting individual upset your apple cart while you’re busy being the one in someone else’s eye!  Just know that there is excitement in the air this month, especially on a couple of days when money keeps all that enthusiasm company too!  Love and money? In April?  Yup.  Want to know when?  Read on.

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TAURUS SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Ahhh, April – almost couldn’t get her soon enough, especially for you Taurus.  Let’s face it, April is almost always faboolus for you since it’s the month when the Sun enters your own sweet, sensual and luxury loving sign, but, this April is even sweeter still since you are about to enter a new and thrilling cycle full of excitement, energy, growth and change!  So, then, why wouldn’t a certain someone(s?) be jealous of all the deeeeluxe and delicious energies heading your way now?  These bright and beautiful energies about to infiltrate your entire life should also prompt you to remember to keep your friends close but your envious rivals closer still.  Keep them close until you can make the changes you need to let go of people from your past that no longer fit into your visions for a fortunate and fulfilling future.  Once you clear the decks of useless, unsupportive and quite possibly immature irritations you can get ready to receive!  And receive you will Taurus especially where more money is concerned.  In fact, there are a few days in April when turning your dreams into reality can turn a very nice profit for you too.  I want you pay attention and focus on your finances during these potentially prosperous days as they will also pay out and pay off in other beneficial ways as well.  Get ready to really go green and, now, read on to see when!

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GEMINI SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Communications are really going to be critical this month in order for all of your recent efforts to begin to bring you the recognition and rewards that you have been so strenuously working towards.  Be confident and have faith as this is definitely not a month for any uncertainty or cutting corners even.  You are going to soon step into an entirely new two year cycle and this month begins that burgeoning.  Look, you are super swag this month and will be attracting attention all over the place but you can’t let that magnetism make you foolish or unfocused or rather risk missing a major (read: MAJOR!!) opportunity.  I know that you’ve been feeling stress over what you consider to be outstanding and unfulfilled dreams and desires but a bit of long delayed gratification is heading your way especially on one specific and super nova day when you finally let go of the fear and feel full of anticipation to explore the exciting and, as yet, unknown territory ahead.  In fact, this one particular day offers you a lucky break of sorts, a chance for change that can advance and evolve all of your intentions.  Embrace optimism now as you are about to experience new directions that will, eventually, affect your relationships at home and at work as well as with your own internal creativity.  This month, Gemini, the stress does start to subside, you just need to know when.  For that info and more, read on.

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CANCER SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Ohhhhhh, lots of pleasant surprises are in store for you this month, so many and so much  that you’ll be glad to come out of the one season while shedding your shell in anticipation of the next!  In fact, this month will also offer an opportunity for you to stop sidestepping an irritating issue or agenda you’ve been wrestling with – that’s right – that annoying agenda with someone else will all but disappear as long as you are willing to be as upfront and honest as can be while also being willing to be as clear and concise too in order to put this all behind you. Then it will truly be time to embrace ALL the fresh starts that April is allowing you!  For all intents (literally) and purposes (literally) you are about to see some forward momentum and some serious magical mojo on two fronts:  retrograding Mercury moves into direct motion in your 9th House of the BIG Idea (and Travel too!) so you can be sure that this astro transit will be emphasizing and even encouraging you to plan for your faboo future early in April.  Now, you can also take some of those same BIG ideas and apply to make every day is an extraordinary one – and you can do that as soon as Mars ends its recent retrograding cycle during some exciting April days as well.  Mars might even share some swell surprises with you that might also make it much, much, MUCH easier to finally let go of something from your past that def  has been holding you back.  So, you see, you’ll have every opportunity to finally finish something unfulfilling from the past so you can go on now to start to create a seriously satisfying future.  You are growing bolder day by day, but some days are simply better than the others.  Let’s take a look at which is which.  Read on.

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LEO SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Ding! Ding! Ding!  WOWZA Leo, I’ve not seen such great energies affecting any of the other astrological signs in a long, long time!  In fact you have a such a stupendous month heading your way that I’m a wee bit anxious about you missing some other fabulous opportunities in April while you’re busy swimming in newly restored optimism and enthusiasm!  Other than a few teensy and potentially troubling money matters this month is filled with fortune, luck, great energies and some really good times too.  You’ve been through the ringer lately but there will be bells and whistles blowing you away in April while also announcing your return to the world of the living.  The time for reveling and revisiting the past is coming to a close and now, once you get some of the last niggling financials finally taken care of you’ll be ready to rock and roll with confidence, clarity and a boatload of contagious excitement, ambition and, yes, even exhuberance!  I can even pinpoint an exact day when your life takes a turn and gets completely back on track!  And, then, there’s another super and stellar one that posits and positions you on a pathway that will put your professional life in the spotlight and your ambitious goals within reach.  All those setbacks of late.  All those dark days of directionless, rudderless reckoning.  ALL coming to an end in April.  Want to see when?  Read on.

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VIRGO SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Breathe Virgo, that’s right – go ahead and breathe out a great big sigh of relief and then let that breath blow big because, as of April, there is plenty of smooth sailing ahead for you which will represent quite a difference from what you’ve been used to the last few emotionally and energetically draining months!  Relationships with your loved ones will improve exponentially this month and any misunderstandings between any family or friends will almost magically clear away leaving you feeling freer as well as wanted and/or needed too!  You will find your finances transforming as well with change being more than what you get back from the cashier at 7 -11.  In fact, for the first time in a long time money issues will no longer be on the front burner but, conversely, they will be heating UP your bottom line.  Did I say ‘smooth sailing’ before?  Maybe what I should have said is that with all the fresh and new beginnings heading your way, your ship is finally about to come in!  Especially when the ruler of your sign give comes back again on one special and spectacular day allowing you an opportunity to rebuild and renew on both personal and professional fronts.  This day will represent resurrection and pull you from the pain of the past.  And, then, there are some others ones that make you want to woot woot as well, even if the money agenda with another could come into play forcing the fun to take a break.  Want to know when, where, who, why and, yeah, when?  Read on.

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LIBRA SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Pack your bags Libra because you are about to head towards new horizons and, well, it certainly is about time too!  Change is in the air this month as well but it comes complete with a renewed and revivified sense of confidence as well.  So, hear me when I say that you will be walking tall towards all these new horizons and destinations now heading YOUR way!  I know that lately you may have been feeling adrift or, worse, even in over your head but this month you can rest assured that the only waves you’ll be wallowing in are ones of purpose and renewal.  Look, recent areas of confusion aren’t just going to up and disappear but on certain and special days your opportunities will almost magically open up, your energy will head in that same direction and clarity will come back to keep your newly found confidence company.  You and I both know that you’ve been searching and seeking a sense of balance in your life for some time now and, well, in April you just might find what you’ve been looking for!  The dark night of your soul is almost over and you are about to step into the light of a brand new day filled with possibilities and potential.  And then there are days that overflow with them.  Want to know when?  Read on to find out.

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SCORPIO SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Mergers, baby, mergers!  All over the place.  In your love life, in your social life, in your professional life – as they all open to excitement and enthusiasm in April.  Your intuition and instincts are spot on in April as well especially in relation to money, business and career.  Mingling and networking in new environments and with new potential partners will be sure to make you feel as if your personal New Year is only beginning during this magical month.  You are about to see an exponential upswing in your popularity and those aforementioned mergers could put commitment on the table either under the romantic umbrella or when colleagues or corporations larger than life come raining down opportunities on you. And, listen to this too – problems that had recently and previously been presenting themselves to you now seem to disappear and dissipate with a wave of the April astrological wand.  See, I told you it was going to be a magical, sexual and social month!  Now, it will behoove you to know exactly when these new projects and partnerships start to push in prosperous and positive new directions before soaring into the stratosphere and, well, that’s what I’m here for.  So get out your calendar and your confidence because specific and certain days in April will call for both to be involved.  What days should you Scorpions be uber aware of?  Read on.

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SAGITTARIUS SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
April brings you just what the doctor ordered, if that doctor had the last name of Suess that is.  Because Sag, OH, the places you (are about to) go this month all filled with opportunities to turn a corner and head down a pathway of prosperity and success!  Not only do you get to reclaim your old clarity and self-confidence during a month filled with positive changes that you can finally capitalize on, BUT you are also being offered opportunities to transform the delays and distractions of the last few months into more concrete communications!  Said a mouthful there didn’t I?  Look Sag, there is one specific day this month that promises and predicates an out of the blue, sudden and unexpected opportunity that will then prompt some serious and significant advancement on the job front.  But it’s the new romance headed your way that has me most intrigued.  See, on another special and love soaked day there will be a significant shift occurring in your romantic life and you just might be the beneficiary of a new love at first sight, even if that new love turns out to be hiding inside an old and established relationship.  Honestly, all the research I’ve done shows that April might be bringing more than May flowers when this month showers your with the possibility of finding the one great romance of your entire life.  This month you will simply need to be ready for anything even if that ‘anything’ might just take a bit of time to unfold.  All you need to know now is that both mojo and momentum are building and magic’s in the April air.  More magic on some days than others though.  Want to know when you shouldn’t leave the house without your top hat and wand?  Read on.

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CAPRICORN SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Extra!  Extra!  Capricorn gets some very, very, VERY good news this month either on or around a moon related day and, then, the positive messages just keep on coming!  You will also need to be prepared at most any time to hit the open road where you will be blessed to also keep an open mind – because you are being given tons of opportunities to learn new and potentially life-altering information from on high that will lift you up but also keep push you forward for all practical purposes and intents.  And, well, it’s a good thing that you’re alarmingly charming for most of the month since the propensity for you to be always at the right place, at the right time with all the right people around is off the hook!  In fact, there is one planetary transit on one certain day in the middle of this month that could conceivably be considered one of the most important aspects of your entire year.  You’ll want to know about this day and the ones that follow since activating energies then will also allow you to garner and get more love, money, admiration and pure pleasure down the road.  See I told you that you’d be traveling – even if only down the road to future satisfaction and success.  The proof, as always, is in the pudding, so, if you want to know when in April you can expect this creamy goodness, then, read on!

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AQUARIUS SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Renewal!  Rejuvenation!  REJOICE!  Oh Aquarius just when I thought that you were destined to power through 2012 pulling all your personal resources of determination and strength to help towards that same end objective, well, here comes April to offer you new energies of confidence, self-assurance, and, most importantly, optimism!  That’s right obstacles and challenges simply fall away this month leaving you oh so hopeful and even anticipatory for the exciting days ahead!  I KNOW that you’ve been feeling limited and even restricted lately and oh so ready to break out of all your everyday rituals and routines, and, guess what, April allows you to do just that.  In fact April is encouraging you to step out and embrace adventure in order to satisfy and fulfill your eager optimism.  Now, all that said, if you thought you were busy before – um – uh – just you wait until April unfolds!  But what could be construed as chaos is actually just, as previously mentioned, a breakthrough in what was previously perceived to be an almost immovable wall.  Not only does April tear the wall down it blows it to smithereens.  Except on a couple of days when you will need to stick to your plan(s) by slowing down and following a set plan.  Yes, yes, I get it, it will feel like deja down all over again, but, what you don’t understand is that there is so much going on behind the scenes that you are not aware of right now that you can’t even begin to know.  The groundwork for your future is being prepared now and you will need to be ready to jump when new and wonderful opportunities come knocking.  Some of then actually come calling, right to your own front door, on a specific and spectacular couple of days when fresh energies fill your whole home!  Financial challenges start to fade and income now begins to flow your way.  On these durable days you are well advised to simply kick back and relax – you do remember how to relax right?  Let’s take a look at when relaxing will reinvigorate your entire life, shall we?  Read on.

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PISCES SHUISTROLOGY FOR APRIL 2012

Your Stars:
Communications finally clear this month Pisces and you will find yourself getting back to business, monkey and otherwise!  That’s right, there’s fun, fun, fun in the air, unfortunately though that doesn’t include finding any time to play with your finances.  But, it does include invaluable information that is about to flow much more freely than it has in months and months.  And all that info will than also allow and invite some critical and truly interesting, illuminating, possibly even life-altering conversations!  The stars say that you are now getting set to make the most out of a month filled to the brim with momentum and progress.  Yes, I said PROGRESS!  I know, I know – you almost forgot what that word meant.  Not this month though!  Everything returns to some state of normalcy in April, especially and specifically because of one particular planetary transit happening on one tremendous transformational day.  On this one day you won’t want to even go to sleep because there’s so strong a chance that you are about to make a dream come true.  Keep your plans flexible all month long, but, most especially in the days surrounding these special energies.  And speaking of energy, your levels should be high this month.  That is where you should be aiming in April as well, high that is!  You will have every available opportunity to properly promote yourself where your work is concerned but must be careful not to rattle relationships when doing same.  Overall though this is a month filled with insightful conversations and all the information you might possibly need to build a foundation for a fulfilling, secure and comfortable life.  Wear comfortable shoes especially on those days when you simply MUST take proactive and intentional steps.  Want to know what days I’m talking about?  Read on.

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When To Put Up A Fight

This is a follow-up to the article our staff writer,Stephanie Beccera, wrote last week entitled “When To Throw In The Towel” of when to call off a relationship if it’s just not working out. In response to last week’s article, Stephanie was approached with different takes on the subject and one friend’s question stood out: what if instead of throwing in the towel, we try harder?

In the age of 30 second commercials and instant, accessible 24/7 communication, it’s clear to see why our attention spans have decreased significantly. Studies have even cited that instead of a seven-year itch within relationships and marriages, there are now more couples breaking up after three, and divorce rates have never been higher. With these grim statistics, it is a wonder that couples manage to stay together, let alone find each other in the first place.

When you first start dating someone, do small things to make each other smile, remember little details such as an affinity for a certain cupcake; and when your significant other is having a bad day, show up at their door step with this cupcake and all is right with the world.

This is normally the beginning stage of a relationship. This stage can last a year, sometimes even two. But it’s around the time when those first couple of years have passed that many couples start to notice a change. The thoughtful gestures have stopped, the dates have decreased and communication is lacking. You can sense a distance forming and feelings changing, but instead of calling it quits, what if you did something about it?

It can be difficult to form a deep connection with someone so when you find that person that understands and makes you happy, hold on to them. It’s common for us to get caught up in the craziness that is daily life and neglect our relationships. But if the person is worth it, do something and fight back.

We as a society have become too complacent and expect things to come effortlessly and to fix themselves. Despite the idealized mirage of what a relationship is, they actually take work and commitment and do not always come easy. If you feel something is broken in your relationship, fix it. If you feel like you don’t go out as often, plan a regular date night. If you feel a lack of communication, voice it. Remember the little things that made you fall in love in the first place because it won’t be the elaborate gifts or dates that will bring the magic back. It will be the cupcake out of the blue that will truly make you fall in love. You may find that instead of growing apart, you and your partner can grow together.

In daily life, people change. Circumstances change. People come and go, there is life and death. But if you have someone by your side who you think is worth fighting for, then do it. In the words of my dear friend, “Who knows? You might fall in love all over again.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear your comments on the article and even examples of when you have been faced with the decision of putting up a fight for your relationship or moving on.

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