When life lends us trials and losses, it helps put the focus of our perception into clearer focus through its microscope. What helps us make the most of that focus is to remember that we are testing life even as we are tested in turn.
As I sit here on a rock looking out on the waters of Lake Michigan, I contemplate this last year in my life. Apparently that’s one of the things you do when you hit the first quarter of your life, or so I hear. I’ve run the gambit of many challenges. I’ve been laid off, dumped via email, struggled with being back with the unemployed masses fighting for a job to live, gotten to know myself better through my blog, gone through a year of celibacy, and even have figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life. In a nutshell, I’ve reached clarity. I’ve begun to shun my usual responses to difficult times and forced myself to put my “big girl panties” on sooner and deal with life and take a hard objective look at where I’ve been, where I’m at currently, and where I want to go. I’ll tell you, it’s not been an easy journey to figure this all out. It’s been made even harder since I’m more stubborn than a billion mules and will go down kicking every time, but I’ve had to still my kicking feet and pay attention. I’ve had to give myself a good talking to and kick my ass into gear to do what I set out to do eight years ago when I graduated high school, I had to go my own way and do what makes me happy and fulfilled. I had to stop trying to fit someone else’s mold and even break a few of my own making to let myself fit into the situation my way. I had to stand on my own feet even if that meant I had to stand alone for a while. I just had to remind myself that while I might be standing alone now, I wouldn’t always. There would be the people who are right for me in certain points in my life and those meant to stay.
So here I sit on my rock by Lake Michigan thinking about the upcoming month before the first 25 years of my life are behind me and I embark on the next 25 and beyond and finally give myself a long due “Congratulations, you’ve survived; you’re still standing.” And I’ll keep standing knowing that the good times are on my horizon and the best is yet to come.