And then I realized, being selfish was the healthiest thing I could do for myself. I realized I needed to invest in myself before I expected to become more. I needed to see where I begin to pave the roads to where I could go.
I am not my past. I am not my mistakes. I am not the one-dimensional view you have of me, nor the one I have of myself. I am more than my fears, am less than perfect and am finally ready to give myself permission to test my wings.
You see a closed door, I see a window. You see a rejection letter, I see motivation. You see a break-up, I see a situation that will lead me to “the one”. It’s all about perspective.
I had a conversation with a colleague on the elevator the other day, the usual catch-up, “how was your weekend” thing. I said the usual, “the weekend was too short”. He said his was simple. That answer stuck with me. Most times, the answer you’d hear would be like mine: “too short” or “lazy” or “busy” or “fun”. His answer of “simple” made me think: “shouldn’t there be more simplicity in life?” I say yes. We spend far too much time complicating matters by trying to see what’s not there, doing what we shouldn’t or would rather not, or just putting ourselves out for no real reason. Why must we always choose what is pretty much guaranteed to cause us trouble? Why must we always work towards what everyone else says we should work towards? We have increasingly become a society of square pegs trying desperately to fit the circular holes in the range of life. Why is individuality good for some not all? When did we decide it was a good thing for misery to be a consistent part of the landscape? When will we wake up to doing things just for the pleasure of it, for the growing experience, to see where it takes us? Why can’t life be as simple as it should be?
Go to bed with satisfaction in your brain and positivity in your heart. Wake with gratitude for the blessings you have and those you don’t see yet. Go forth in the world spreading love and understanding leaving yourself open to learning patience through life and having honor by respecting your fellow man and the Earth you’ve been generously given to tend.
I can’t always reveal what I’m going through but know that my private battle will result in victory. I won’t always say what I’m thinking but understand that what I’m not saying is as important. I am loyal to the cause of love, acceptance and support but look within myself to pay it forward to others. I may be faced with many choices but realize that I am daily learning to always choose myself.
When bitterness seems to be the only choice, choose joy. When darkness is closing in, BE the light. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t rise from whatever is holding you down, including yourself.
What are you doing today that your future self will thank you for, your present self can build on and your past has influenced?
Don’t waste your heart and mind on resentment. It only adds scar tissue to what time has tried to heal.
Sometimes, you have to sit with your situation to figure out what to do next.