It is never selfish to ask for the respect you want. Ask first from yourself. Your respect in how you treat yourself provides the blueprint in how others should treat you.
So here I am, another year into my thirties. I observe and I consider. I know myself better; but by that knowledge, will I do better now than I did in my teens…twenties? I hope so. In my teens, I was too afraid to take risks. In my twenties, I traded for the wrong risks and am still getting on solid ground to deal with the collateral damage. In my thirties, I hope to take some things from my early adult years and hone them in the present to finally become a successful adult. Ideally, I’d take the focus from my teens, the networking and ambition from my early twenties, and the sense to realize it’s okay to turn myself “off” for a while to do some self-reflection and self-healing but to also know when to be completely present in mind, body, spirit to lower my walls to see what lies ahead. I’ve recently been presented with such a moment. I’m still processing it and navigating trusting myself and others and re-evaluating my views on the subject of “yes”. I’ve observed my 30-something friends as they also navigate this decade of life. I notice the married and parenting ones, but my focus is more on the unmarried ones. How are they working to be their best selves? How can I do the same? In the last few months, I’ve drawn inspiration from these friends who are taking a skill, a dream, an idea and making things happen. I’ve finally decided to shut out my biggest doubter, myself, and get things done myself. I believe in doing this, I’ve already started to draw people and opportunities that nudge at my comfort zone and where I feel I am in my abilities; and I will admit to feeling the old fears as well as the will to push forward past the “what ifs” to see what could be. After all, if I constantly let myself be held back by fear of failure and being wrong, I’ll never climb higher. One step at a time is all I can let myself think. Whether that step is small or a giant leap is yet to be determined. Continue reading