Hindsight 20/30

Now I will be the first to admit that I’ve complained of the seeming lack of “Mr. Rights” more times than I care to count. I’d come back from another failed date,  another break-up, or a dating dry spell that would have a Westerns set look lush and inviting. As I’ve gotten older and moved closer to 30, I really started to hone in on my tendency towards tunnel-vision in dating. If I’m involved with someone exclusively, I am completely focused on him. I rearrange my schedule to accommodate his no matter how inconvenient it may be. In the period following my breakups, I see the destructiveness of this mind frame and even seem to learn from this in time for the next guy. I never fully realized how much I really wanted something real, healthy and nourishing romantically until after I got over my last breakup. In my first two relationships, I had next to nothing in common with my boyfriends; and in the last two, I had too much in common with my boyfriends but not enough of the positive stuff. I had finally started to realize that my caretaker/troubleshooter response to others gave me too much of a rescuer mentality rather than a romantic one. And I started asking myself: do I really want to be with someone who wants or needs a manager? My answer: No, I don’t. I would resent putting myself in that position and would resent the guy I was managing. I want a partner, someone who is my match without being the opposite sex version of myself and balances my strengths and weaknesses while challenging me to become a better version of myself while supporting me. I found that dating for the sake of not being alone lead me to make some rather questionable choices and didn’t help me to find the quality of partner material I’d like to find. I have realized even more importantly that to attract what I really want in life, I have to do some work on myself from the inside out. With that said, I’m off to do some emotional spring cleaning. From now on, I am an attractor for greatness.