The Art of Forgiveness

They say that true forgiveness is that we forgive whatever offense done to us and forget it. But what are we supposed to forget to get us to the point of real forgiveness? To forget the offense is to pretend it never happened as if no wrong were commited. I personally believe this an ineffectual way to deal with such a thing. Whether we like it or not, this bad thing happened and it needs to be faced. Revenge does not need to be the way this happens, but selective amnesia is also not a way to go. I believe that to forgive includes the following: acknowledge the break in trust, address the break, decide on the lessons to be taken from the experience, and finally to move forward with an open heart choosing to put that time in the past with the hope that the relationship is improved or that at least some understanding has been reached that you not stay in that negative attitude. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean that whoever offended or hurt you will or has to stay in your active life. It means that that the negativity caused by the break won’t. You refuse to let it control you because you know that it won’t benefit you. Forgiveness is no easy feat especially when you remember what you’re trying to forgive. True forgiveness is not without immense effort and compassion and understanding. It is appreciation for the complexity of the human condition; it is an art.

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