The Lesson of Sodom and Gomorrah

It’s easy after ending things with someone to play the “what if game” for a while. What if we give things a few days, weeks, months, then maybe….What if we changed THIS about how we deal? What if I changed x,y,z thing about myself? What if THEY changed? This game can literally go on into eternity. It’s one thing if both sides mutually agree to revisit the relationship and getting back together and not a one person campaign to “get the love back”. If that person made the choice to break up with you, they were fully prepared to live without you. If that relationship has any chance to get to a good place, then the breaker has to be the one to make the first effort. This effort has to prove that there is a true desire to make things work. The key in making that work is to not go back. It’s to move forward and make a new beginning, a new relationship. The relationship broke for a reason. What was being done before wasn’t working and needed to be changed either with that person or with the next. There’s usually always something that has become a destructive pattern that needs correction. This can be the type of people we choose to date and how we choose them, how we act in a relationship, how we determine the important things in the relationship and partner, what we think of ourselves while in a relationship, and how we treat ourselves and our partner while in a relationship. Once we determine that the only way to resurrect our relationship is to work to go back to “the way we were when we were happy”, that’s when we’ve doomed ourselves to turning into a pillar of salt. And when reality comes raining down on you, your hopes for that melts like the Wicked Witch of the West. And that’s not a good look for anybody. Don’t trap yourself in a broken situation. Move yourself into a place of growth and health.

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