Am I Bringing a Knife To a Gun Fight?

It’s easy to feel as if relationship fights and arguments are like a battle you must prepare for. You would be right. But put down your weapons and come to the field empty handed, open-minded and open-hearted and an attitude of being ready to listen most likely even more than you should talk. It’s a battle of hearts against your discord, NOT each other. So no bloodshed please.

When you come to battle your differences, do so with a mind towards working together even if the outcome may not be what you came to the table to accomplish. We all have ideal plans for how we want things to go. Sometimes, this actually happens; more times than not, it ends in very unexpected ways sometimes leading to extended meetings to come to a treaty of sorts. You’re only as effective as you let yourself be. If you come into it with a single-minded focus, you’ll lose sight of some of the side notes that could have helped your cause or even have given an even better outcome than you originally thought possible. Fights are necessary to relationships and can even be beneficial if they are the RIGHT kind of fights and we have and use the right tools to get through them in a healthy way. You fight for what you need, you fight for what you believe in. Your tools are open communication, honesty, time, listening not just hearing your partner, and a willingness to go back to the table sometimes to figure out a healthy viable game plan to get back on or to stay on track TOGETHER. The most important thing about being in a healthy relationship is that you have to be on the same page. You can’t be divided and hope you’ll end up on the same side in the end. You have to be in it together from start to finish. An unsupported relationship is like a sand castle, it might be fun to build in the beginning; but at the first good wave, it will all wash away. Don’t get me wrong. You yourself must be strong yourself before you can be strong as a team, but trust is an irreplaceable mortar you can’t maintain a relationship without. Build trust, maintain trust and there will be no need to bust out your war arsenal because you will know and understand there are better ways to end a fight.

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