When you’re hanging on by your fingertips, it’s natural to focus only on the yawning depths we’re trying to keep above; but remember, you’re still holding on.
No problem was ever demolished by worry nor a solution had by wishes.
When you go through a hard time, it’s not always easy to remember to think before you act. All you want is for the pain to just stop so you can be okay again.
Step one in getting to the “Okay Zone” is to breathe. The restorative quality of just simply focusing on your breathing and nothing else is highly underrated. The rate of our breathing is greatly tied to our emotional state. For example, when you’re angry, your adrenaline is up and your breathing becomes very fast and erratic nothing else matters other than why you’re upset. You don’t want to be calm; you don’t want to be rational. All you want is to feel some sort of recompense for what you’re going through. We can’t let ourselves be ruled entirely by emotion. We must allow ourselves time to reflect and to calm down.
When you’re upset, and hear someone tell you to calm down, you feel that person is against you and taking the side of the person(s) who wronged you. What is usually the case; however, is that that person is trying to reduce your pain and back down any thought racing through your head of hurting yourself or others. Let’s face it, your anger justified or not, only really hurts the person expressing it. You can only go forward. You can’t undo what’s already been done. You do have the choice of your solution. You can remain angry and go over that situation over and over in your mind until you live and breathe your pain in anger. In this instance, it will consume you and put you on the path of no return. Another choice would be to go to an objective party to talk your situation out. There is nothing like a new pair of eyes to look at a situation to maybe show you something that you missed or help you to be more objective about it. This way, you have a better chance at repairing the breach or getting some sort of relief from knowing you did everything you could and can move forward. The other solution is to just let go. You push the situation from your mind and move on. What’s done is done and there’s nothing else to do. There’s no examination period in which we explore motives and analyze actions. We just accept that it happened and go on with our lives. In a lot of cases, this last example choice would be the healthiest. It may seem as if it’s just a “quitter’s option”, but there’s a more positive way in seeing this. Instead of losing yourself in the other person or the situation, you’re focusing on yourself and your emotions and reactions.
You can’t change the other person or what happened, but you can control what you do and what will happen moving forward. You can look at your feelings and your reactions and figure out what’s best for YOU. One thing we lose sight of during emotional upheavals is that “I matter too”. It’s easy to let ourselves get lost along the way. The hard part is to keep at the forefront of our minds the truth that we matter, our feelings matter, our thoughts matter, and our existence is for more than just someone else’s amusement.
The best inspiration comes not from what is meant to inspire but from what isn’t meant to.
When the door closes on one opportunity, look for the elevator. Your perfect opportunity is just waiting for you to push the button to rise above.
Avoidance is like a wall made of cheesecloth. It provides a separation between you and your problems temporarily, but those problems always seem to have a way of seeping through the holes until you’re done with them.
When you count your blessings instead of your losses, you make room for future blessings by sweeping away the negativity.
A heart given in desperation is closed off to logic.
Valentine’s Day…a day when the weight of most relationships is measured by getting Valentine’s Day right. Should I give flowers? Should I make dinner reservations? Should I buy some jewelry? Should I keep it simple? Should I go all out? Will I be seen as loving him or her any less if I don’t make a big deal about “the most romantic day of the year”? I’m of the opinion that a person’s love shouldn’t be measured by gifts and grand gestures. It should be about two people respecting, adoring, understanding, and cherishing each other year-round. Because in the end, don’t we all want to feel special all year-round? What we want is a true love that lasts. In the great words of Beethoven in “Letters to the Immortal Beloved” and spoken so elegantly by Mr. Big to Carrie in Sex and the City: The Movie: ‘Ever mine, ever thine, ever ours.’
The choices we make or have to make in life aren’t always black or white, sometimes they’re coded with more colors than a box of crayons.