Throwing in the Towel

This post, brought to us by new staff writer LeeAnn Yops, discusses persistence and the need for a positive attitude in life.

After receiving yet another rejection letter from a job that I really wanted, I sit here typing with a sense of defeat. Throughout my job search, I have tried to stay optimistic and think that something will have to work out eventually. I would like to think the same of my (lack of) dating life.

The job search is a lot like dating. That’s not a new revelation, but it’s funny how much the similarities come up between the two. Just last year I thought I found the job of my dreams. They contacted me after I sent my resume and cover letter and thought that I was really special. Well, special enough for a first date of a phone interview and promise of an in-person interview. That second date/interview never happened. I was crushed. I took that initial phone call while lying on my bed as if I was a teenager talking to a cute boy. Turns out the boy who interviewed me was cute, I stalked him on the Internet to find out. Trudging through and looking for a paycheck (besides the possibility of the corner), I continued to apply elsewhere, just like I have continued to date after being disappointed by the fellers over the years.

Determining the post-interview/post-date etiquette is a tricky one. You don’t want to seem overeager, yet you want to express interest. Weighing in on a job is a little different as you would hope the company would have the decency to at least give you a tender, computer-generated no, but that’s not always the case. You sit there wondering what they didn’t like about you and if you did something differently maybe the circumstances wouldn’t be the same. The uncertainty simply blows.

It’s much easier for me to put my dating life on hold as that doesn’t pay my rent (or maybe I’m not doing it right). Honestly, I think being unsure in your career is just another excuse. It’s different if there is a lack of drive, but if the person is actively searching I don’t see it as a red flag. In fact, if you surveyed most people they would probably admit that they’re not happy with their careers. I’ve had friends who would use their distaste for their jobs as an excuse not to date saying they have to find that part of themselves first. That can be translated as insecurity. I’m insecure with my dumpy body, but I’ll still squeeze into a pair of Spanx and go on a date here and there. Heck, if it’s going well, I might even go to the bathroom and throw those Spanx in my purse. It wouldn’t be the first time.

As frustrating as it gets, you have to push yourself to keep going, both dating and job wise. Whenever I feel like I’ve hit a wall, I try to remember that it really could be worse. I might have been rejected by something I was really excited about today, but I am also not dating my childhood crush, Anthony Kiedis. I did apply for a few more jobs today and even have phone interview set up later this week. Even though this company isn’t my first choice, maybe they will surprise me. I’m not expecting my love life and professional life to be all roses as I know both will take work, but I would settle for something that I at least enjoy most of the time to feel some sense of self worth. Or I guess I’d even settle for some handholding over the pants. Whatever’s clever. Either way, I hope I get more than a computer-generated response soon.

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