This week staff writer Stephany Salinas discusses and gives advice about picking someone up in the dating/bar scene.
Recently, I moved to the amazing city of Chicago. As is tradition, I started frequenting bars, trying to get to know the scene and venturing out to meet new faces. The first month or so was amazing. I met new men everywhere, and it was fun seeing new people, not the same townie crowd as usual. (Although, I still love my townie crowd. Sometimes, you wanna go where everybody knows your name, right?).
However, as the weekends passed by, I started noticing a pattern that was all too familiar. You walk into a bar, and men will stare at you for a good duration of the night. You make awkward eye contact and exchange small smirks. Then, about an hour and a half later, homeboy will finally approach you and try to strike up a conversation. This is good, right?
Wrong. Once his brutal beer breath hits you, you realize that Prince Charming is hammered, and needed “Liquid Courage” to come up and talk to you, which he is failing miserably at right now because he can barely articulate.
Now, if what you’re looking for is a one-night stand with a random girl, ignore everything I’m about to say. Do you.
Men, and I’m sure this goes for women as well, please do us all a favor and stop getting so train wrecked! Maybe it’s because I’ve matured a bit in the last year, but seeing a guy who is hammered, being obnoxious, and decides to hit on me while incoherent, is one of the biggest, if not the number one, turn off’s EVER. And I’m not sure if your intention is to just sleep with a girl, or actually meet a potential significant other, but either way, it’s annoying. If you managed to take home a girl when you’re on the brink of blacking out, congratulations. You just picked yourself a girl that probably used you for the same reason. And if that’s what your goal is, then by all means, good for you. But don’t go around complaining that you can’t seem to find a “good girl” anywhere.
A good girl isn’t going home with you when you can barely pronounce your own address to the cab driver. Control yourselves. Get it together.
Here’s my theory: Some men (as well as some women) need the “liquid courage” in order to be able to talk to a girl because they can’t handle rejection. Kind of like how men felt the need to create the “friend-zone”. It’s easier to handle rejection when you don’t face it directly. You get drunk enough to the point that you don’t care if this girl talks to you or not, because you’ll just take home a different girl. Until you wake up the next morning and realize what you did, and (possibly) feel like a scumbag, once again. Or maybe you don’t. Like I said, if a one-night stand is what you were aiming for, then by all means, good for you. Nothing wrong with that. I’m not here to judge.
Bottom line, men, is that if you want to talk to me, or any girl at the bar, just do so. If I’m a complete bitch to you, and decide to shut you down brutally, then there’s a good chance you shouldn’t be talking to me anyways, because I’m probably a douchebag. NOW, if I don’t accept your drink or just end the conversation without being an ass, then move along and go talk to another girl. I’ve never once told a sober guy to “go away” or acted like I was better than him, regardless of what he looked like. A simple, “No, thank you” does the trick.
Being one of the only guys able to carry on a conversation when you’re surrounded by belligerent bros is going to be a huge advantage. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself talking to the less attractive, yet sober, friend, because he was able to joke, people watch, or actually converse with me.
Control yourself. Moderation can be a beautiful thing.