This week’s post by staff writer Stephany Salinas covers the situation of being “the other woman”. Have you ever been the other woman?
A tale all too familiar.
Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Boy has girlfriend.
Oh yeah. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve heard of women falling for a guy who has a girlfriend/wife..or have even done so myself. *Guilty*
“But Stephany, he REALLY DOES like me, and he’s totally going to break up with her. He’s just trying to figure out HOW to break up with her. It takes time!”
Really? No. Getting your citizenship takes time. Building up your credit takes time. Breaking up with someone that you supposedly no longer have feelings for does NOT take time. Nothing good comes out of being “The Other Woman”. In fact, one of two things will happen:
1. Dude will leave his lady.
Fine, let’s say homeboy IS really thinking about breaking things off with the significant other. He breaks up with her, and then comes running to you, his “soul mate”. Now, at what point do you stop and let it sink in that this guy was CHEATING ON HIS GIRLFRIEND with you. And you, you’re probably sitting here thinking that you’re the “exception”. No, he would never cheat on you. Of course not. Why would he? He already left this poor girl for you. Who’s to say that he isn’t going to turn around and do the same EXACT thing to you? Would it really be so easy for you to trust someone that broke his last girlfriends trust..right in front of you? I can tell you right now from experience that no, not EVERYONE who has cheated is going to cheat again. However, most will. Why would you put yourself through that? Sounds like drunken arguments just waiting to happen -_-
2. Dude isn’t going anywhere.
I’ve been in this situation MULTIPLE times. Always the “better” option, but never good enough to leave their girlfriend for. Which, unlike a lot of people, I have a conscious, and stay away from scumbags likes that. I have only messed around/seen one guy who had a girlfriend, and that was more of a revenge thing. TOTALLY different story. Either way, I had plenty of opportunities to hook up/date guys who already had significant others. Plenty of chances to be the “secret”. They weren’t leaving their steady and safe girlfriends anytime soon, and I knew that.
Let me tell you something right now. You should NOT be a secret. If a man ever hides you, run. You’re beautiful, and you deserve to have a guy who is willing to be proud of the fact that he landed a hottie like yourself. There is no way you can ever justify a man that is hiding you or your title. A man will tell you whatever you want to hear in the heat of the moment. Remember that next time he tells you he loves YOU, and NOT his girlfriend. You know, that girl that’s plastered all over his Facebook page that he introduces all of his friends to.
Ladies, this is short and sweet, because it’s something that does NOT need to be discussed. For anyone who has seen “He’s Just Not That Into You“, Mary argues this “other woman” debate by saying, “What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to let them pass you by?”
I’m not saying throw him out of your life, but do you really want the potential drama of being the other woman on your plate? Or, would you rather be patient and find a guy who’s willing to be with you, and JUST you, because you’re woman enough for him.
I’m not saying every guy you date has to put you up on a pedestal, but he should be just as crazy about you as you are about him.
It’s only fair, right?
Exactly. Dump the cheating loser, and find yourself a real man.