“If you love them, let them go…”

This week’s post by staff writer Stephany Salinas gives her in depth opinion of the old “catch and release” adage: “if you love them, let them go”.

..is something I would say about a butterfly. Or perhaps a puppy that I couldn’t keep in my house.

Not. About. A. Person.

And I’m not sure if it’s the quote itself that bugs me, or the fact that I see it EVERYWHERE, as if it was some form of amazing piece of advice or inspirational idea.

Let me quickly explain what this quote is saying:

When you love someone, and you can’t give him or her what you think would make him or her happy, you should let them go and give them the opportunity to find someone who will make them happy.

WHAT?!

“Awww, how romantic!

No. That’s not romantic, stop that. In fact, that’s the opposite of romantic. If romance had an evil twin, it would be just that.

Sorry to break it to you sweetheart, but if someone is willing to let you go, they’re just not that into you. Personally, if I love someone, I’ll do whatever the hell it takes to be with them. With my exes, I’ve stuck through their tough times, helped them with problems, finances, and more. I’ve been through the mental breakdowns and changing of lifestyles. Was it easy? Absolutely not. Sometimes, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to do it. However, I knew that if I didn’t, I would lose the person I was with, and that wasn’t an option. When I care about someone, I don’t see their flaws or problems as trouble or stress, I see these things as something I can help them with, which is part of the job description when you care about someone. If someone is using their flaws/problems as to why they can’t be with you, or why they aren’t good enough for you, please remember that these are just other terms for “excuses”. We all have flaws, we all have problems, and every single one of us has had an excuse for something.

See, when I fall for someone (which has become a rarity due to past experiences), I strive to be the person that deserves him and will make him happy. If they aren’t willing to do the same, then there’s something wrong with this picture.

Loving someone and letting them go is something your parents do. They raise you, they love you, they want to see you grow and prosper, and do better things with your life.

Being in love with someone is COMPLETELY different. 

When you’re IN love with someone, you will do whatever it takes to BE what’s best for him or her. Think about it. If you genuinely care about someone, and want him or her in your life, wouldn’t you do what it took to keep him or her there? Unless they’re asking you to free fall from space (shout out to Felix) or climb Mount Everest, I like to think that most of the time, it’s not that difficult of a task, especially when you know they care about you as well.

So listen to me when I say that if someone is willing to let you walk out of his or her lives, then go. Don’t make excuses. Don’t justify their actions and try to romanticize them. And when they say they miss you, keep in mind that the only reason why they do is because they CHOSE to let you go.

 

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One thought on ““If you love them, let them go…”

  1. I think the saying goes, “If you love them let them go, if they don’t come back, go hunt them down.” LOL. I appreciate what you are saying however, in my experience, be that as it may, if they are leaving you, then sometimes it is a futile thing to try to “do everything to keep  them. Definitely they were not into you,as you say, but as far as trying to make someone happy, well, happiness is a decision of the individual. I hear time and time again, “I just want to find someone who will make me happy”. This elusive happiness really does not manifest itself from without, it has to come from your inner core. Many relationships I think are superficial, because the deep down connection has not been made. One of the biggest gifts you can give a person (and most of us probably don’t practice this) is your presence. Are you a “listener” or “waiting to talk” type of person? I must admit that I am most certainly a waiting to talk, but I am aware of my shortcoming and trying to switch that software. Anyway, good blog and subject, Take care.

    Kind regards,

    Robert Wagner 303-882-9267 (cell)

    “The future belongs to those who believe  in the beauty of their dreams.”

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