Staff writer Frank Friedlander writes about the “look, don’t touch” policy in relationships. What do you think?
So it seems that over the years, my wife has caught my eyes wandering more and more. The good news is she’s taken it more and more lightly each time. Why is this? The simple answer is that boys will be boys, and she’s given up trying to stop such behavior. They say we should chose out battles, and this is one no longer worth fighting. On the other hand, a great deal of that reasoning is related to trust.
To elaborate, in a new relationship, you certainly don’t want to be caught window-shopping. Not too hard anyway. Not only can it be viewed as insulting to your present company when you stare just a bit too hard, but in the early stages of a relationship, trust, or for that matter lack there of is far from established. When you’ve recently started dating somebody, and you’re already checking out others, there’s not much indication that you will walk over and start flirting as soon as your date’s back is turned.
However, as time goes on, a certain level of trust will be established. If not, the relationship simply is not healthy enough to be sustained. This is not to say that after a certain length of time it’s permissible to gawk every time an attractive girl walks by; however, once said trust has been established, it becomes harmless, and somewhat laughable. Just don’t touch the merchandise.
The ladies reading this can sneer and scowl all they want, but I know they do the same. They’re just better at it, or at least better at avoiding getting caught. Then again, men aren’t as likely to make a fuss over such behavior. Additionally, man candy isn’t as abundant, at least of the unwrapped variety. When summer rolls around, we have to contend with sundresses, short shorts, and mini skirts virtually everywhere. Maybe at the beach or the gym, topless men in shorts are not uncommon, but in a general setting, we’re covered up. Those that are not are more laugh-worthy than anything, often accompanied by excessive body hair, including an outdated mustache and creepy medallion.
We have to deal with it every time the temperature hits the 70s. Aversion of the gaze is easier said then done when bombarded with eye candy. They say that the human eye will automatically focus on the most aesthetically pleasing image in sight. With this in mind, turning my head when a head turner passes by is as natural of a reaction as a sneeze. As long as it’s no more than a look, there’s no harm done. I’m not going to lie, I’ve done more than my share of window shopping but never considered making a purchase of any kind.
In Muslim culture, women are forced to keep completely covered, with virtually no visible skin. This is for religious reasons, and said to be sanctioned by men. My theory is that in reality, it was in fact Muslim women that originated this custom. They live in very temperate regions, and without those regulations, what would be to stop young Muslim women from wearing sundresses all year long? In their male dominated culture, Muslim wives rarely leave the house without their husbands. So what would be to stop them from gawking to their hearts content? Even if their wives were present, in their culture, they would not have the right to say anything. Their only defense would be to somehow force these young women to cover up. By putting two and two together, this theory sounds anything but far fetched.