Forbidden Fruit: the “Ex Factor”

At some point in time in our lives, we give ourselves over to the “ex factor”. We question our decisions to make our ex an ex forever. Was he or she really so bad? Maybe with enough time we can try again…Well, I’ve questioned that a few times myself and have had friends of mine do the same. But we have to remember, when the dust settles, our ex is an ex for a reason.

Sure there are the off-chance occasions in which a fight that leads to a break-up can be repaired through open and honest conversation; but for the most part, if the break-up happened, it was with good reason whether it’s seen in the present or further down the road. True, it happens, but the specific aspect of the “ex factor” is when we’re lonely after a break-up and we want to make a connection again. Some people choose one-night stands, some choose friend with benefits, some move on to rebound relationships, and others decide to change the look of the relationship with an ex and decide to make it “just sex”. And this last occurrence is what I feel to be the most dangerous of them all. After the initial anger and hurt diminishes and you can stand to look at that person without either bursting into tears or wanting to put a hit out on them, you may start to think that just maybe if you keep things on just a physical level, it might just work out and down the road they’ll see just how good you are together and everything will just solve itself.

WRONG. TURN AROUND NOW! RUN AS FAR AND AS FAST AS YOU CAN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. I will promise you that this will be the worst idea you have ever had and that less than 10% of exes actually have this to work for them and that maybe about 1% of you that are thinking of doing this now or in the future may actually have a shot at being one of that sacred 10%. Believe me, if you thought the original break-up was bad, well honey, you definitely don’t want to be around for the sequel because there will be much of what happened in the first break-up with extended scenes and deleted clips that will make it that much more damaging to your heart, head, and psyche. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

Do I think that exes can retain contact after a relationship? Yes, there are some who after some time can occasionally chat from time to time and keep in touch. Do I think it’s a good idea to become lovers with an ex after a break-up? Absolutely not. There is nothing good that can come of it. After a break-up, let go and heal and move on. Forbidden fruit may sound sweet, but I can assure you it’ll choke you up sooner or later.

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