Staff writer Frank Friedlander covers the topics of finding love in the wrong places with the example of Craigslist.
I’ve touched on the pros and cons of the world of online dating before, but today I’d like to refine my search if you will. I’d like to discuss the personal ads on the catchall bargain bin known as Craigslist.
Now Craigslist is an amazing thing. We’ve found a multitude of items for our daughter there. Several years ago when we needed to relocate on short notice, we found someone to sublease our apartment there. I’ve found several writing gigs, including this one there. Craigslist is highly recommended for a lot of things. Love, however is not one of them. Looking for love at Craigslist is like going grocery shopping at the dollar store; you might find a few things that you want, but chances are they’re rotting, will make you sick, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend putting anything you find there in your mouth.
As a bargain hunter, I’m somewhat of a Craigslist addict. I can spend hours on it when I don’t need, or even want anything in particular. At one time or another, I’ve combed virtually every category the site has to offer, with the exception of the personals. Until recently, that is. Don’t get me wrong, my only intentions were curiosity. When I got there, I was treated to the cyber-space version of the Cantina Scene from Star Wars. If you’re not familiar with the Cantina Scene from Star Wars, ask the nearest man, and he’ll gladly fill you in. Anyway, there appears to be three types of women who post in the Craigslist personals:
Type 1: I’m a horny slut and I want to have lots of hot, no strings attached sex. Fair enough. I’ve said in a previous entry, that if not attached, you should have the right to sow your sexual oats as much as you like, so long as you stay clean and careful. However, chances are that “Craigslist Slut” is either a hooker or somebody looking to rob you, be it via acquiring your credit card number or simply meet you for a rendezvous in which she turns out to be three 250lb. tattoo-covered bald guys with baseball bats and lead pipes. Hey, love is blind, in this case, due to a retinal detachment resulting from a tire iron to the cranium.
Type 2. The legit lonely heart. She’s looking for love, on Craigslist, and doesn’t understand why the only responses she’s getting are dirt bags sending her pictures of their you know what. The answer is simple, really; because she’s looking for love on Craigslist. Pony up a few bucks a month and get a membership on one of the more well-regarded dating sites. You get what you pay for, and when you pay nothing, you get pictures of penises with sores on them.
Type 3. I saved the best for last. She admits that she’s overweight, and often not much of a catch. However, she’s looking for someone to love her for whom she is on the inside. So long as he’s well endowed, well off, and resembles a Speedo model. Ok, I understand the love me for who I am on the inside sentiment, but when you have your own unrealistic demands in regards to his physical appearance, you’re kind of doing it wrong. But don’t worry; I’m sure that someone will be kind enough to send you a picture of his genitals anyway. After all, it is Craigslist.