Staff writer Rigby Rat‘s post for this week covers the evolution of wedding from something sweet and personal to an ever-growing three-ring circus. Have any of you had or have been a part of a wedding that was more stress than fun and happiness?
Personally, I can’t stand most weddings. They’re all the same. Same old printed invitations, same old houses of worship, same old nuptials, same old white wedding dresses, same old bridesmaids/grooms in their Saturday-Night-Fever matching outfits, same old reception halls. How did weddings get so monotonous, mind-numbing, and mundane? Blame the brides, grooms, their families, the wedding planners, and the media. But, especially, the profit-seeking enterprises.
Once upon a time, the joining of two people in holy matrimony was intimate. Today, weddings are grossly over-planned and over-invited. And, most disturbingly, they have no warmth, emotion, or personality.
Somebody said to me, “But, Rig, you’re stomping all over tradition.” No, I’m not. Like I said, “Once upon a time, the joining of two people in holy matrimony was intimate.” In addition, the bride did not wear white, or diamonds. (Do your own research.) Your grandmothers and great-grandmothers didn’t wear white wedding dresses nor diamonds on their fingers. Their guest list didn’t include acquaintances (a person known to one, but usually not a close friend).
It is a shame that weddings have turned into huge profit-making spectacles. When are brides and grooms going to put their collective foot down and stop acting like lemmings? Come on, think outside the box. Your wedding day should be different, newsworthy, and historical. But most of all, it should be intimate and meaningful to YOU, not the guests.
I have been to one intimate wedding that was different and had a lot of personality. The other wedding no one was invited to, so it was even more intimate!
Wedding 1. Was held outside on someone’s six acres of property. The guest list numbered about 40. Which means everyone got to hang with the bride and groom throughout the day. Everyone dressed casually – even the groom. The bride was barefoot and did not wear white or a diamond. The wedding was performed in such a way that the bride and groom did not have their backs to the guests. Children ran freely. No waiters or waitresses were around to screw up anyone’s service. The outdoor air was refreshing. After the delicious serve-yourself homemade dinner, most everyone changed into shorts and t-shirts and played games: volleyball, softball, cards, backgammon, etc. And, oh, there was a live band, not some expensive DJ spinning records. And, oh, because the band members were friends of the groom, they played out of love, not free enterprise.
Wedding 2. The groom was a movie freak. The bride, a museum-lover. He was of Italian descent. She, Greek. They wanted no guests at their wedding. If family and friends didn’t approve; too bad. It was their day; their moment in history.
In the morning, the couple filled their kitchen with delicious smells: they made Greek and Italian finger food. Afterward, in the privacy of their home, they recited their own “vows” to one another. Vows that the couple wrote themselves. Next, they went to City Hall and said their brief “I do’s”. Then the fun began!
They rented an old movie theatre. All for themselves! YES, A MOVIE THEATRE! For only $200! During off hours, of course. You know the kind – pedal organ in the lobby, ornate ceilings and fixtures throughout. Their thought was to be alone in a big movie theatre and watch their favorite flick together: JAWS. No people walking in, no people walking out. Just the two of them holding hands in a dark, funky, historic theatre.
When they contacted the theatre owner, he was so taken by their unique wedding day idea that he kicked the projectionist out and let the movie run on “auto-pilot.”
The couple’s wedding day didn’t stop there. A friend of theirs owned a stylish store – in a quaint town – that resembled a mini-museum. Inside were high-priced Greek and Italian antiquities. The friend turned the lights down low and locked the couple in the store where they feasted on their pre-made Greek and Italian finger food. Music from the store’s stereo system wafted through the rooms. As the sun set, they danced. They held hands. They talked. They kissed. They strolled the “museum”. Then they ate some more…
How romantic and unique is that – especially if you’re a movie freak and a museum-lover – renting a movie theatre all to yourselves AND being locked in a store that resembles a museum?
The couple didn’t feel a honeymoon had to come right after the wedding. So, they went home and slept in their own bed. I have to say, they are one of the few couples I know who made love on their wedding night. Everyone else admitted they were too exhausted from the day and the jet ride to Hawaii.
So, watch what you wish for on your wedding day. Will you make it mundane, or memorable? Will you think outside the box, or allow friends, family, and profit-seeking enterprises to send you off the cliff with the rest of the lemmings. It’s your day, don’t be afraid to chuck some – or all – of the rote activities associated with the typical wedding day. Viva la difference!
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