Love, Marriage, or Lack There Of

Casual relationships have had a bad rap for years; but those who claim to want to have casual relationships, need to play by the rules: be open and honest about your intentions and desires and play safe. This week’s post by staff writer Frank Friedlander goes into further detail about casual relationships and some of the rules surrounding them. What are your thoughts?

When a man does it, he’s called a player. When a woman does it, she’s known as a slut. Or a skank. Or a whore. Or any other of the multitude of derogatory terms used for a woman who has a reputation for sleeping around. I’m not hear to discuss a double standard here, simply to bring up a valid point: if somebody has no interest in being a part of a committed relationship, why should they be?

Personally, I’ve been in a committed relationship for around ten years not, and married for seven as of this past month. We have a two-year old, and another on the way, and I’ve been very happy every step of the way. Still, I don’t have any interest, nor to I have the right to look down upon those who are not in one for one reason or another.
On one hand, there are those who simply haven’t found the right match. Perhaps it is a good thing that they’re willing to wait it out, or in some cases, it’s simply waited them out. Marriages built on a foundation of necessity, convenience, or desperation are very likely to fail, or result in resentment, cheating, and even abuse. Maybe I’ll delve further into these on another day.

Today’s topic is individuals who simply don’t want to be in a relationship, and prefer to sleep around. Such individuals are generally frowned on by society especially women. Why? Well, I’m not quite certain. Perhaps it’s because of a primal instinct that a woman’s ultimate goal is to procreate and extend the species. I suppose that those that sleep around are more likely to do that, but that’s beyond my point. My point is that if an individual prefers to enjoy multiple partners, why should they settle down? It can certainly save them from a relationship in which they don’t want to be a part of, simply because society tells them that they should be in one. More importantly, their friends and family tell them that they should be in one, and if they don’t tell them upfront, they strongly hint at it.

While many people may disagree with this way of thinking, I simply don’t see why everyone needs to find their match and make more people. Isn’t overpopulation a big problem all over the world today? As far as I’m concerned, anyone willing to avoid adding to that problem has every right to do so. Call it what you will, but one night stands, casual encounters, or simply premarital sex has been happening long since the first primitive priest, rabbi, or judge pronounced two ape like creatures as man and wife. As long as nobody is getting hurt, then let them have at it. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not condoning extramarital affairs here. I’m not even condoning those who lead each other one when they’re just after one thing and the other wants something in the form of a romantic relationship. I’m condoning one man or woman, who is neither in a committed relationship, nor are they interested in one and another man or woman who is neither in a committed relationship, nor are they interested in one to do as they wish, so long as no one is getting hurt and no disease is spread. Hell, if they want to add a third man or woman who isn’t in a committed relationship, or interested in one to the mix, well then nice work if you can get it.

What it comes down to is that there are those that simply are not interested in a long-term, committed relationship. I’m not talking about those who claim to not be looking for anything serious, when they in fact are; I’m referring to those who really and truly are not looking for anything serious. Granted, these individuals should be sure that they use the proper protection to avoid disease or any unwanted extending of the species, but beyond that, more power to them. As long as both parties are truly committed to not wanting to be committed, well then it’s a match made in heaven, and by the power invested in me, I now pronounce them two people who simply want to have a good time; and if they ultimately decide that they want to start a family, then who am I to tell them otherwise?

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