Shuistrology for September 2012

Want to know what the stars have aligned for you this month? Check out this shuistrology report from Ellen Whitehurst, find your sign and see what September has in store! Cheers!


Your Stars:
The Sun and Moon hanging out and hooking up in your 6th House of Health and Work this month blesses you with some strong and overarching feelings of empowerment and success! This should be a terrific month too for you to mine your powers of creativity as well in order to find new answers to old dilemmas. And then make those old and upsetting energies go far, far away. Truly, if you simply solidify your intentions and focus your own energies on one particularly positive goal you just simply won’t believe how quickly September allows you to accomplish and achieve it too! And that accomplishment could just come with some cash and coin attached as well! But finances aren’t the focus of this month. No, rather, aligning your focus with your own freedom will lead to some interesting and independent developments. Except now, in September, the cost of freedom won’t be too steep for you to afford as this is a simply ideal month to restore and revisit a brand new and more passionate sense of self. Now, it’s not going to be all independence and alignment since you may also find that communications require a bit more courage in September – particularly where articulating your emotions, wants and needs to a certain someone is concerned. But you are being offered an astrological opportunity to open up and share away on one specific and spectacular day! In fact this one day practically promises to take some of the smoke off an often overly heated situation. Look, I get it that you feel like everything is always and ever-changing and that you can’t really find your solid footing (yet), but, if you take time to process all the recent transformation and also take advantage of this one sensational communicative day then you might just well find the balance that you seek. Want to know what day will bring the balance and opportunities to align with same? Read on.


Your Stars:
You are going to be given a new sense of stability and freedom in September Taurus and just in time too eh? I know that you’ve been thinking that nothing much ever changes for the BIG and the better especially after some of the twists and turns of the last few months, but I promise that the difficulties, challenges and obstacles you have been facing lately are now all about to disappear! Poof! Just like that. In fact, the Sun and Mercury conjunct and transiting your 5th House of True Love/Romance/Pleasure will fill your month with possibility and potential to increase each of those agendas and intentions too. More love. More romance. More pleasure. Even more creativity. And many more opportunities to communicate all same. But you simply must be sure to communicate with meaning, truth and authenticity or risk the rewards that this month brings. It’s time Taurus, time to step up and express yourself in order to obtain your heart’s desires. Kick off the Autumn by boldly finding new ways to attract attention to your hopes and dreams and you will finally feel what it’s like to reach a deeply desired goal. And then there is that one day – – you know the one – – the one that sweetens everything it touches and simply melts in your mouth. You have that day coming to you in September. A day that will strengthen your relationships and put truly supportive (and influential!) people on your path. Want to know when you can expect to open your heart to waves and waves of happiness? Read on.


Your Stars:
You’ll be beset by exciting energies this month that will pull your attention away from the daily grind and plant you squarely on the center stage of different levels of awareness and insights. Although it might get a bit hot under the spotlight and under your collar as well, the drama you’ll be starring in won’t actually end up being all that bad. In fact, even though September will be rife with relationship issues and concerns there are opportunities for healing, especially through honest and authentic communications. The Sun and Mercury moving through your House of Home brings opportunities for you to fully focus on home and family agendas. Especially early on. But these two planets can also, as previously mentioned, repair and renovate any emotionally charged issues hanging around your house as well. In fact-finding constructive solutions to problems that have been plaguing you in regards to both your home and your work will be the order of the month as September will encourage you to be the architect of a more fabulous future as you start to build, in earnest, your own better life blueprint. Just remember that you can’t please all of the people all of the time and, well, during certain days this month you just might not please anybody at all at any time. Oh well. Is what is. And, then, there are a couple of days in September when your optimism will be unbridled (rightly so!) and fortune and luck fill you with joy! You will just need to be very careful that you don’t get so caught up in all the exciting vibes that you bite off more than you can chew. Want to know when you’re going to be sitting and feeding from a banquet of blessings? Read on.


Your Stars:
Considerate choices and thoughtful decisions will both play prominent roles in the energies seemingly hurtling at you at warp speed in September Cancer. With so much emphasis and energy happening in every one of your communications sectors you will most assuredly need to use your head in order to try to stay ahead – – of everyday life that is. You can expect to experience an increase in your workload but that will come hand in hand with achieving some spectacular successes on the job front as well. You may find that travel bug bites you this month too so go ahead and scratch that itch as you pack up your worries and focus on forging into the future. Yup, yup, without any question you will be blessed with both growing mojo and momentum in September especially when the Sun shines so brilliantly on your 3rd House of All Things Communications! You are getting set to go around yet another new learning curve but the heights that curve can take you to will be dizzying! And speaking of curves, try your best to stay ahead of the ones that might not allow you to see all the pesky daily details lying in wait (and desperately needing to be attended to!) because it will only be once you handle all the minutia of your daily life that September will really open up and offer more energy, more alchemy and a whole lot more magic. Now, if the whole magic thing is appealing to you then you’re going to want to make sure that you have your top hat, rabbit and wand at the ready when a few really spectacular days drizzle all sorts of good stuff all over you. Want to know when? Read on.


Your Stars:
Oh Leo! OH OH OH LEO! Charm! Charisma! Confidence! In fact, this month you are a force of attraction so magnetic that no one and/or nothing can resist you! If you have someone of influence or someone important that you want or need to impress, well, there will simply be no better time to do that than right NOW! You should be feeling uplifted and optimistic – – full and flowing with invaluable and exciting insights and ideas as well! As if that weren’t enough you will have a ridiculous amount of fortune and luck on your side this September too. The Sun in Mercury transiting your 2nd House of Income lends some shiny energies to this pretty golden month just in case you were wondering if money were going to add to the excitement.. This planetary pairing is additionally intimating that it’s time to increase the return on ALL of your investments as well as how you spend your time and talents too. Once you assess and evaluate how you can better employ your own skills (and skyrocketing appeal!) then you will also be able to start solidifying plans for a more fab future. This is THE month when a fair amount of recognition for your talents can take you to greater and greater heights while also motivating you to make the most of them! Plainly put you are so sparkling and so dazzling this month that even Cartier can’t compete. SHINE LEO SHINE! Oh, and did you want to know which day you’ll shine like the Sun? The day when Venus makes you so alluring that a tempting romance takes you to places that you didn’t think possible? You want to know what day(s) those energies will entice? Read on.


Your Stars:
Wowza Virgo is this ever going to be a very HAPPY birthday month for you! Expansion and initiative or just two of the critical keywords that will define all the positive energies making you so darn attractive and even more popular during these empowering days! You are set to enjoy and embrace a strong(er) sense of purpose in September while also putting plans into action for a lighter and much, much, much brighter future. Therefore it’s going to be so important for you to stay focused and not get distracted this month because all that determination, creativity, cohesion, mental acuity and, of course, perseverance WILL pay off! Precision, detail and great insights and understanding make you shine so much that you’re going to attract some new and interesting people into your life – – maybe even some characters who come bearing gold, frankincense and myrrh. Well, okay, probably not those last two things. However, money, fortune and luck are definitely on your early Autumn agenda as well so do be sure to engage in activities that support your ambitions and longer term goals so that you can soon enjoy some spectacular short-term success! You actually have the ability to come across completely confident AND convincing as you express yourself – – as well as your dreams and desires and, well, if any of those dreams and desires involve travel, personal growth, wealth and or study then boy oh boy did you ever come to the right place! And it’s called September! And then there is the one spectacular day that signals the start of something sensation and new. This day will offer fresh and fantastic energies that can affect your personal purpose and your path for the next twelve months to come. Want to know when to welcome all this progress and to get out and promote yourself? Read on!


Your Stars:
Oh Libra, this transitional and transformational month allows you to spend some serious downtime alone – while also plotting and planning your success-full future. Taking advantage of these lower energy and relaxing vibes will be critical in September so that you can figure out how to infuse and embed all the fantasies you are having about your future into the reality of your everyday life. This will take some creativity and imagination and, you got it, some special time to dream those desires into being. Of course there are still those same pesky partnering energies affecting your love life and, as usual, I am going to have to insist that you pull your pretty head out of the clouds and try to deal with this agenda in the here and now. Because if you address these as yet (still) unresolved emotional issues in September you are sure to spend the rest of this autumn season taking a break from the usual suspects and the pressures that can (and usually do) come calling with them. And then there will be that interesting, influential and impact-full stranger who could open your eyes to new experiences and who might also introduce you to exciting opportunities to reap positive results and rewards on quite a few different fronts. Be a bit more introspective in September and you will gain greater insights and inspirations in order to restore your faith in both humanity and yourself. Now, amid all these efforts at balancing your logic with your increased and enhanced sense of intuition, there are a fabulous few days when that aforementioned ‘stranger’ can really take you by surprise and you might even unexpectedly connect with some new and exciting relationships and social/professional networking connections too! And there’s money to be made! Making it and making the most of what you already have going on will be on your September ‘To Do’ but meeting that special someone should be at the top of that list too. Want to when to dress to impress? Read on!


Your Stars:
I can’t tell what you’re going to see more of in September Scorpio, good news or optimism, because, well, BOTH will be abounding and coming from and to you in spades. That’s not the only GOOD NEWS that I have for you either. This month will also be offering tons of opportunities to take total advantage of ALL of your gifts and skills and talents too. And those efforts are getting set to reap some really impressive recognition and, appropriately, some interesting and well deserved rewards too. You should be able to assert yourself so much more than usual and now is the month for you to make a mark on your whole big, wide world. In fact motivation and ambition will both join forces at this time to connect you with more drive and determination while a strong sense of higher purpose pushes through the month as well. You gain an understanding in regards to the rough patches you’ve experienced of late and what those lessons meant to and for you. This understanding then offers you opportunities to be able to apply these teachings to your everyday experiences in order so that you can easily embrace the freedom and sweet relief September shares. As usual though, there is one spectacularly crazy great day when pleasure, joy, creativity and camaraderie all rise up to meet you and take you to dizzying heights of delight. Can’t wait any longer to find out when that and all the other remarkable days will fill your heart and maybe even your bank account too? Read on!


Your Stars:
Your career comes front and center this month Sag, even if much of the more excellent activity is happening behind the scenes. As we both know, reinvention is always the BEST revenge and so this month you should get ready to be very, very vengeful. But in a grand and good way. You’re finally going to find the support you’ve been seeking to take your ideas and your efforts in a new and different direction – – one that will put you on a far more pleasing, profitable and purposeful path. If anything about any of this has been bubbling up in the back of your mind and you’ve been keeping your dreams, your desires and your plans a secret then now would be the time to take this information out of your heart/head and into the real world. Yes, yes, Sag, this month you will see the Sun shining a bright light on both your career as well as allowing you to expand your horizons. There is almost no more important time this year for you to blend your expertise, your clarity of vision and your focused energy with a dedication to completing your responsibilities. This partnering and pairing of these characteristics and qualities will not only bring you new contacts and connections but could also predicate and/or promise more popularity and possibly a lucrative deal as well! Either way, this month you will be getting noticed by the powers that be and they like what they see. Now speaking of liking, or, in this case, LOVING what you see (and hear and smell and taste and…and….and….) there is one specific day this month that practically promises you a wish fulfilled. If you can use this day to prioritize and put all your focus on one dearly held dream and/or goal you can move heaven and earth and make it come true. I love days like that. You will too. Want to know when you’ll be feeling all that love and more? Read on.


Your Stars:
Oh dear me Capricorn, I LOVE when I start to see both love and money coming anyone’s way but when I see it coming through abundantly as it is this month for you I am THRILLED to share. Now, speaking of thrilling, you are attracting much more than money this month when sensual and sexy energies bring you opportunities to activate your heart’s desires. Literally. You are going to start to finally see your projects and your plans shift and move forward so you will also then be allowed to restructure and rebuild any parts of your life that need reinventing. You will also find that your mind is opening to new ideas as well as more expanded and broader view of your whole world. New ideas and new and more creative approaches to the pursuit of your goals (especially if those same goals have ANYTHING to do with publishing) can/will inspire you with fresh insights and opportunities too. Now is the month to look for ‘the next big thing’ which will involve some sort of big change. You will be making huge ‘moves’ now, possibly even entering an entirely new environment – – or two. And then there is that one spectacularly sparkling and FIVE STAR day that you can look forward to that promises gifts of love and/or money could start to flow steadily and smoothly – – a day that will put some particular plans right in front of you that will fuel and fill you with hope, optimism and, yes, love! You REALLY need to know when this most wonderful day will fall, so, read on!


Your Stars:
You’ve done ALL the background work Aquarius. You’ve dreamed the big dream, you’ve created your intentions, your visions boards and you’ve even actually challenged and then changed your belief system. Yup, yup, you did ALL the right things to build your ‘castle in the sky’ and, so, now, this month, it’s time to start building a more concrete foundation right here on terra firma! Those other inner life activities have set the magic in motion and now it’s time for you to be ACTIVELY engaged and involved with the outer opportunities, results and, yes, even rewards! I can’t be more clear that September is the month to stop daydreaming and to start communicating, although, there is nervousness and anxiety where moving forward and ALL of those energies potentially infringing on your individual freedoms are concerned. That’s because partnering (on both a personal and a professional level) is one of the key themes overriding your entire month. You’re about to find out just how well you are connected with many different partners on a financial as well as on emotional AND intuitive levels too. So, September says that YOU will have A LOT to say this month and getting those messages across to all the right people and partners is going to be your ticket to financial freedom, victory and success. And even though you face some truly hard work ahead there is definitely reward (and a light at the end of that tunnel at the end of this month) to keep you motivated, inspired and enthused. Now, it’s not all going to be rolling up your sleeves so you can put your nose to the grindstone (or something like that.) No siree – – September holds two of the most glorious days you might get this year. And guess what? They are FILLED to overflowing with pleasures, extravagance and extra special good times rolling. Want to know when you’ll be able to rock it out? Read on.


Your Stars:
Simply put Pisces, September is going to be one of the best months of this whole year for you and ALL of your relationships. Your popularity skyrockets and soars and people climb out of the woodwork to support you. With a tremendous emphasis on communications in September too Pisces your words could actually establish a deep and abiding connection(s) for during the month as well! In fact using the right words this during these halcyon days could make such a permanent impression on someone(s) that you could also see the start or beginning of a blessed and beneficial alliance. This will simply be the most excellent time to bring clarity into ALL of your relationships on every conceivable level. You should see opportunities arise for you to offer service to others through your heart as well as through your mind. Any charity work that you undergo at this time will be both rewarding and fulfilling, but, truly it’s your uncanny and almost magical ability to negotiate and network that will prove the most invaluable to you now. Keep your enthusiasm, your optimism and your energy balanced and flowing as you endeavor to make some important new decisions. Of course there will be one FIVE STAR DAY (!!!) will get a glimpse of some spectacular and bigger, better days to come. That sneak peek is enough to encourage you onward especially where your career is concerned. Positive and pleasurable are just two of the hallmarks of these sensational day, especially if you play your cards right. Want to know when to expect attention and intrigue? Read on.


Avoiding The Inevitable-Part 2: Guilt

This week, staff writer Stephany Salinas continues her “Avoiding The Inevitable” series with: guilt. Most of us have tried to avoid an inevitable break-up because we didn’t want to be the bad guy. But did we feel guilty because we didn’t want to cause our significant other heartache or because we didn’t want to be the target of an emotional hell storm?


Last week, I wrote about the familiarity aspect of a relationship that holds you back from doing the unfortunate task of breaking up with someone. This week, I’ll share with you yet another reason why people find it hard to break-up; Guilt.

At one time or another, most of us have been in a relationship where we just didn’t reciprocate the feelings of our significant other. They may have been crazy in love, head over heels for you, but the it wasn’t mutual. Yet, we continue staying in relationships like this because they make us feel better about ourselves. Who wouldn’t want a relationship that’s based around them, right? Wrong. It gets old, quick. When you become someone else’s world, you soon realize that the pedestal you’re on is pretty lonely, and boring.

It starts off great. You meet someone, and they’re so sweet, it’s unbelievable. In reality, it IS hard to find someone who is genuinely doing things out of kindness of their hearts and/or because they care about you. Let’s face it, the dating generation of today can be quite selfish, clueless, and careless. That being said, when you DO find someone who is willing to cater to your every need, you’re drawn to it. It starts off small and normal, with surprise lunches, cute texts saying how much they miss you, and all that adorable fun stuff that everyone shamelessly likes in the beginning of a new relationship. You see them constantly, because being without them sucks. You still get those funny feelings when you’re around them, because everything is new and exciting. You’re still learning about this person, and it’s fun. This is typically known as the “Honeymoon” stage. The stage every couple goes through.

Then, of course, the honeymoon stage is over. At this point, you ask yourself if you really like this person, or if it was just the thrill of meeting someone new that was exciting. Unfortunately, this is where things USUALLY get messy. Who knows, maybe you both decided, “Meh, it was fun, see ya later!” In a perfect world, all break-ups would be like that. Alas, we all know this world is far from perfect.

At this point, you’re still wondering if this is something you want to continue. Because you’re unsure, you’d rather stay in the relationship than potentially lose something you actually wanted to keep. As you continue through the relationship, for however long, you start to notice certain things that are suddenly annoying or unappealing. Whether it be physical traits or characteristics, you find yourself wanting to spend less time with this person. If you make it clear that you’re bored or unattracted to them, they try even harder to get your attention. That’s when you realize that you’re just not into them.

This actualization, like the realization of familiarity, may be sudden or gradual. For me, it was gradual, and a complete accident. Not only was I falling for someone else (a friend at the time), but I started realizing that I didn’t care about him anymore. I didn’t want to see him everyday, and I didn’t want him to accompany me when I went out with friends. His quirky literary imagination suddenly became annoying, and his obsession with wanting to be with me every chance he got went from being romantic to creepy. What’s worse, is every time I wanted to say something, I thought about all these romance novels and movies, and how what this guy was giving me was what every girl wanted. So why didn’t I want it? Why was I so different?

I wasn’t. I wasn’t different at all. I just wasn’t in love. At this point I realized that this guy was nuts about me, and I didn’t even remotely feel the same way. Now, I find myself to be a pretty nice person, and I try my best to never hurt anyone’s feelings, so I found myself stuck in a position where I was just clueless. How do you go about bringing up a conversation that you know is going to break someone’s heart? And this isn’t just a “maybe”, no, it’s a sure thing. His heart was going to be broken, he was going to be in pain, and it was going to be my fault.

So I did the worst thing possible; I waited. I waited and pushed it off as long as I possibly could, because for a moment, hanging out with him for a couple hours a day was bearable, compared to the heart break that I was eventually going to have to put him through. (Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the other guy I had started to get feelings for was still around, but we never did anything behind future-heartbroken boyfriends back. Cheating is for cowards.) So, I spent my days trying to avoid hanging out with my own boyfriend. I would make up excuses and say I was busy or had a lot of work/cleaning to do. After a few weeks, I realized what I was doing was even worse than breaking his heart. I was letting this guy think that everything was okay, and that I still loved him. I was leading him on, and that’s one of the worst things you can do in any relationship.

After I grasped this concept, I knew what I had to do. However, I was still struggling with how to bring about such a painful conversation, until our very last argument (as a couple).

I remember the exact moment it happened. I was outside tanning, and had been trying to make plans with my family. When I tried discussing these plans (that didn’t involve him) with him, he got upset. He was catching on. He asked why I had been MIA lately. I was concerned about leading him on and him thinking everything was okay, when, in reality, he was confused. That part of the relationship where you don’t know if everything is okay and you feel hurt and confused, that’s what I was putting him through.

At that moment, I knew I HAD to do it. I didn’t care about breaking his heart anymore, because what I was doing by procrastinating was even worse. So I called him and did what I had to do. Over the phone, it’s not too bad. It’s when I saw him in person a couple of hours later that was difficult. Looking into watery, heartbroken eyes is not an easy task, but one that you may have to endure during a break up. So we talked for about 45 minutes, which mainly consisted of him asking “why?”

Why? How do you tell someone you don’t love them? It’s tough. It’s extremely tough. Honesty can be extremely painful, but it’s a huge weight off of your shoulder, and a soon-to-be open door to happiness…with someone else.

So after a couple hours of dealing with the questions and anger from him, I finally felt free. I was happy. And honestly, that’s what matters most.

Never let guilt prevent you from ending a pointless relationship. The only way a relationship will be successful is if YOU are happy. If you’re not, realize that it needs to end, and that prolonging the break-up process because you feel sorry for the other person actually makes you pretty thoughtless.

When First Dates Become Laughably Bad

We all have that one bad first date story whether it’s our own or someone’s we know. So, in honor of full disclosure, let me tell you one of my own.

One night some seven years ago, I went out on a first date with a cute guy I met online who was in the San Francisco Bay Area from Los Angeles for a few days visiting friends. We had down all the requisite pre-meeting things: we chatted for hours for a couple of days, exchanged pics, and had grown to like each other and naturally wanted to meet in person. He was totally cute with his longish, dark brown curly hair and beautiful dark brown eyes and great smile. I still wanted proceed with some caution as I had learned before, pics can be deceiving; but I was willing to be optimistic.

Things being as they were a few years ago, I didn’t have a car and Oliver was from out-of-town visiting friends and didn’t have a car either, so he borrowed his friend’s to take me out. Oliver arrived at my place and my along with my roommate opened the door to his knock in some surprise to note that I had hit the jackpot in finding a guy who was every bit as good-looking as his pic and even as tall he claimed to be in his emails. Things were off to a good start. On the drive into San Francisco, we had a drive full of ease and laughter, talking just as easily in person as we had online. Could it be? Had I actually found someone worth getting to know? It had seemed so. For dinner, we had played things low-key and went to an all night diner and continued chatting while we ate as if we had known each other longer than a few days.

We left the diner and drove up to a point at Twin Peaks to look out over the city on an uncommonly clear San Francisco night. He stood behind me, wrapping his coat and himself around me to keep me warm and dry during the light drizzle and as the stars shined down on us, he kissed me. Sweet, huh? Romantic, huh? At that point, I would agree with that. We then made plans to drive north a ways to Sausalito to walk around and just hang out for a few more hours to make the night last.

And so we drove in the early morning hours through San Francisco to head out of the city until disaster strikes, the car breaks down in a little neighborhood affectionately known as The Tenderloin or more commonly, Lower Nob Hill. We look at each other and laugh, for who would expect for the car to break down while you’re out on a date, right? Well, we decided to just hang out in the car and intermittently try to get the car to crank. Some time later, I needed to find a bathroom. So we walked the neighborhood trying to find someplace still open at 3am that had a public restroom…no such luck. Now, most people would consider public urination a thing you’d only do in the woods camping or while drunk; well, I was neither, and when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. Now, I will give props to Oliver for not only trying to find a restroom for me; but in our failure in finding one, stood in front of me with his jacket spread to cover me from sight when I had no choice but to go outside in an alley.

Now, with that mortifying moment over, we went back to the car to try to get it to run. Again, our luck fails us. So, Oliver is left with no choice but to call the friend to tell him what happened and see if we can do something about the car. For over an hour, Oliver called his friend with no answer; luckily, Oliver didn’t stop trying and the friend finally woke up and answered his phone. He sleepily told us he would call AAA to come tow us and would call us back once he got it squared away. Unfortunately, what said friend didn’t know was that the cardholder had to be there with the car when the tow truck arrives. Enter next problem. Oliver’s friend had to borrow his roommate’s car to drive from San Jose to come get us and drive me home about 30 minutes north of San Francisco. Being the good friend he was, he drove up to come get us and at 5:30 am, I arrive home after a most laughably bad date.

Now why would I consider it laughably bad? While I admit that the first half was great, sweet, fun, and romantic, breaking down in a questionable neighborhood at 3am, peeing in an alley pretty much in front of your date, and waiting about an hour or so for said date’s friend to answer his phone and pick us up and drive us home pushed the night into laughably bad territory. Do I blame Oliver? Nope, not a bit. Did I talk to him again? Yes, later that day and even for some time afterwards. Did I see him again? Again, yes. We saw each other again a couple of months later and had a much shorter and slightly less uneventful time during daylight hours. I haven’t seen or heard from Oliver in about 6 years; but just for the humorous aspect of our first date, I’ll remember him fondly for years to come.

Online Dating Is Silly

The world of online dating is fraught with humor, annoyance, pain, and a huge need of being able to read between the lines. Most of us at one time or another have either signed up on an online dating site or at least considered it (until we’ve heard about the casualties). Staff writer Rachel Brownjohn’s latest weekly post goes more into detail about online dating with a little bit of her own experience. Let us know! Are you an online dating skeptic, casualty, or success story?

So you know how I’ve alluded to my online dating before? Let’s get serious and talk about this. I have a problem with online dating. Not like a problem problem, one that would require anonymous support, I just don’t love it. But after reading a very well explained post by  fellow staff writer, Frank Friedlander, I did some pondering, maybe online dating is not the deepest darkest thing to do. I’ll come clean.


I have an OkCupid, y’all. Ugh. I hate myself for telling you this/ having one. But it’s so hard to meet people in the real world after college! Don’t you think? I spend a lot of time hanging out with my pre-established friend group and it’s tough to expand my grown up social circle. So I’ve cracked. And moved this party online.  I’m officially on my 5th round of OkCupid. I have a tendency to go on like three dates, start dating the third person more consistently, and delete my profile with the reasoning that, “Even if this doesn’t work out, I’ll meet someone else the good old-fashioned way!”. Lies. These are lies I tell myself. Unfortunately, if you completely delete your account, you have to start over from scratch. And I always delete, it’s those lies I keep telling, they get me every time.


So I’m back online again, sigh. But I have a confession, filling out an online profile is one of my all time favorite activities. Specifically, a silly profile (because no one is super-duper serious on a free online dating site, you know? ) I tried to fill out a profile once and it was nowhere near as exciting, trust me. I didn’t feel like I was grown up enough yet to explain myself the way they wanted me to. Maybe one day. But on OkCupid I get to go crazy. Body type?  Jacked. That’s right online daters, I know you can see from my pictures I’m regular looking but under these sundresses I’m like John Cena. Activities? Spinning in office chairs. This is actually true, but isn’t it silly to get to put that online?! Because if I’m being honest, I just really think all of dating is a bit silly. It’s one of the most important things to me (finding love! Woo hoo!), but silly.  I think we all have to have a pretty serious sense of humor to show up for dates with strangers, or get to know each other, or go on any adventures.
I wonder sometimes if maybe I should grow up online, stop being so silly, and really commit.  But what’s love good for if it can’t make us feel like little kids again? Carefree and full of life. That’s all I really want, so for now, silly I shall remain.



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Watch What You Wish For On Your Wedding

Staff writer Rigby Rat‘s post for this week covers the evolution of wedding from something sweet and personal to an ever-growing three-ring circus. Have any of you had or have been a part of a wedding that was more stress than fun and happiness?

Personally, I can’t stand most weddings.  They’re all the same.  Same old printed invitations, same old houses of worship, same old nuptials, same old white wedding dresses, same old bridesmaids/grooms in their Saturday-Night-Fever matching outfits, same old reception halls.  How did weddings get so monotonous, mind-numbing, and mundane?  Blame the brides, grooms, their families, the wedding planners, and the media.  But, especially, the profit-seeking enterprises.

Once upon a time, the joining of two people in holy matrimony was intimate.  Today, weddings are grossly over-planned and over-invited.  And, most disturbingly, they have no warmth, emotion, or personality.

Somebody said to me, “But, Rig, you’re stomping all over tradition.”  No, I’m not.  Like I said, “Once upon a time, the joining of two people in holy matrimony was intimate.”  In addition, the bride did not wear white, or diamonds.  (Do your own research.)  Your grandmothers and great-grandmothers didn’t wear white wedding dresses nor diamonds on their fingers.  Their guest list didn’t include acquaintances (a person known to one, but usually not a close friend).

It is a shame that weddings have turned into huge profit-making spectacles.  When are brides and grooms going to put their collective foot down and stop acting like lemmings?  Come on, think outside the box.  Your wedding day should be different, newsworthy, and historical.  But most of all, it should be intimate and meaningful to YOU, not the guests.

I have been to one intimate wedding that was different and had a lot of personality.  The other wedding no one was invited to, so it was even more intimate!

Wedding 1.  Was held outside on someone’s six acres of property.  The guest list numbered about 40.  Which means everyone got to hang with the bride and groom throughout the day.  Everyone dressed casually – even the groom.  The bride was barefoot and did not wear white or a diamond.  The wedding was performed in such a way that the bride and groom did not have their backs to the guests. Children ran freely.  No waiters or waitresses were around to screw up anyone’s service.  The outdoor air was refreshing.  After the delicious serve-yourself homemade dinner, most everyone changed into shorts and t-shirts and played games: volleyball, softball, cards, backgammon, etc.  And, oh, there was a live band, not some expensive DJ spinning records.  And, oh, because the band members were friends of the groom, they played out of love, not free enterprise.

Wedding 2.  The groom was a movie freak.  The bride, a museum-lover.  He was of Italian descent.  She, Greek.  They wanted no guests at their wedding.  If family and friends didn’t approve; too bad.  It was their day; their moment in history.

In the morning, the couple filled their kitchen with delicious smells: they made Greek and Italian finger food.  Afterward, in the privacy of their home, they recited their own “vows” to one another.  Vows that the couple wrote themselves.  Next, they went to City Hall and said their brief “I do’s”.  Then the fun began!

They rented an old movie theatre.  All for themselves!  YES, A MOVIE THEATRE!  For only $200!  During off hours, of course.  You know the kind – pedal organ in the lobby, ornate ceilings and fixtures throughout.  Their thought was to be alone in a big movie theatre and watch their favorite flick together: JAWS.  No people walking in, no people walking out.  Just the two of them holding hands in a dark, funky, historic theatre.

When they contacted the theatre owner, he was so taken by their unique wedding day idea that he kicked the projectionist out and let the movie run on “auto-pilot.”

The couple’s wedding day didn’t stop there.  A friend of theirs owned a stylish store – in a quaint town – that resembled a mini-museum.  Inside were high-priced Greek and Italian antiquities.  The friend turned the lights down low and locked the couple in the store where they feasted on their pre-made Greek and Italian finger food.  Music from the store’s stereo system wafted through the rooms.  As the sun set, they danced.  They held hands.  They talked.  They kissed.  They strolled the “museum”.  Then they ate some more…

How romantic and unique is that – especially if you’re a movie freak and a museum-lover – renting a movie theatre all to yourselves AND being locked in a store that resembles a museum?

The couple didn’t feel a honeymoon had to come right after the wedding.  So, they went home and slept in their own bed.  I have to say, they are one of the few couples I know who made love on their wedding night.  Everyone else admitted they were too exhausted from the day and the jet ride to Hawaii.

So, watch what you wish for on your wedding day.  Will you make it mundane, or memorable?  Will you think outside the box, or allow friends, family, and profit-seeking enterprises to send you off the cliff with the rest of the lemmings.  It’s your day, don’t be afraid to chuck some – or all – of the rote activities associated with the typical wedding day.  Viva la difference!

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Rollercoaster Dating

We go up, high on expectations; never expecting to fall
We rush at first on a straight path never paying attention to the drop around the bend
We slow down, climbing towards the first drop in the relationship
Will the drop be pure excitement, or will it be a drop into uncertainty?
As we drop, we scream in part fear part exhilaration wondering where the ride will take us next
As it all calms down again, we reflect on whether the ride is worth repeating
While we realize the ups and downs are part of the package, we wonder…
Do we want to stay or get off?