He Asked You What?

This week’s post by staff writer Rigby Rat gives prime example of how blind dates can go awry and the unreasonable expectations set by porn. Don’t get me wrong, sex is fabulous, but is a first or second date dinner really the appropriate place to discuss sexual preferences?

Before I tell you what he asked her, know this: I don’t believe your best friend from high school days should suggest you go out with a guy she knew from college. Why? Because she doesn’t REALLY know him. A friend is not the best judge of you – you are – and if the meet-up doesn’t work out, you’ll tell her and she’ll be compelled to chew him out like a mean-spirited busybody jacked up on Krispy Kreme doughnuts and peppermint white chocolate mocha.

So, there’s my gorgeous Art History teacher-friend and this guy having dinner at Annisa (annisarestaurant.com) in New York City. This is their second meet-up. During the meal he asks her: “Would you have anal sex?” Yes, he was talking about with him.

How does a socially awkward troll go from masticating Rabbit with Ramps and Japanese Curry to asking an inappropriate question during a normal social function? That’s easy. Instead of having a life, the troll watches Internet porn.

What is wrong with you guys? When it comes to scoring with women, stay the hell away from pornography. (See: Do Men Who Look at Pornography Make Bad Lovers?). Just because the coked-up “actress” making a hundred dollars a day in the basement of her pimp’s house takes it up her keister every time someone yells “Action!” in her face doesn’t mean your sexually psychotic fantasies are going to be fulfilled by a woman your friend suggested you meet.

So, how did my gorgeous Art History teacher-friend respond to porno Pete? Instead of getting mad, she got even. She asked porno Pete if he had a twelve-inch penis that could go all night. Embarrassed by her question, he quietly responded, “No.” He should have a twelve-inch penis, right? Because that’s what guys in porno movies are packing. And doesn’t every woman want what she sees in porno movies: twelve-inch penises that can go all night? And a guy with abs she can bounce a quarter off of? With runner’s thighs? Who has his red wings? And a tongue that’s as nimble as his fingers? And…and…and…

2 thoughts on “He Asked You What?

  1. This is what happens when you raise a generation with a 16:9 window being their only view of the world. They don’t have a reference point to even know it’s wrong to act like this.

  2. Interesting. There are all kinds of questions worthy of exploration. The issues of appropriateness and timing are fraught with pitfalls. There are so many signals and clues open to misinterpretation. The socially inept are doomed!

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