This week’s post by staff writer Frank Friedlander is about the necessity of knowing when to pick your battles. With so many other problems that can be had in relationships, can’t we all just learn compromise?
One important thing that anyone in a relationship must eventually learn to do is to carefully choose his or her battles. Let’s face it, nobody is going to win all of their battles, and if the same side always wins, the other side will end up very unhappy, and thus, the relationship short-lived. This is not to say that one should not put up a bit of a fight here and there when it comes to battles which he or she knows that they are not likely to win, and frankly does not particularly care about.
At this point, you’re probably asking me to back up the truck a bit. Why would one even attempt to fight a battle which they have no intention of winning? More importantly, why would one bother fighting a battle if the cause is of minimal importance at most? The reason simply is to ensure that the invisible scoreboard hanging in each household is as close to tied as possible.
What it comes down to is the fact that we all make compromises in order to keep our partner happy. In many cases, we may have our own preference, but the end result is of far more importance to our significant other. When something is of utmost importance to my wife, even if I may not necessarily agree with what she wants, I will gladly let her have it; however, at times I will put up some degree of a struggle all the same. Why? To chalk up a victory for her.
You still don’t quite get it? As I explained two paragraphs up each household has that imaginary scoreboard, and we want to ensure that said scoreboard is as close to tied as often as possible. With this in the back of my mind, every time I give in, affording her a victory, by right, there should be a victory coming to me at some point. It does not necessarily have to be any time soon either. It could be later that day, later that week, or just to stick in my back pocket for a later date.
Her: “So where would you like to go for
Me: “I could sure go for Sushi”
Her: “I’m not in the mood for Sushi, how about <insert name of overpriced Italian eatery, which as far as I’m concerned is no different from The Olive Garden>”
Me: “Ugh, we just had Italian the other day. How about Sushi, or at least Thai. Or, we could go to “Sushi Thai” for the best of both worlds”
Her: “You always want Asian*. Can’t we just have Italian?”
*always wanting and ever getting are two very different things
Me: “Remember three moths ago when I let you chose those purple bath towels, when I wanted the ones with The Cub’s logo?”
Me: “well I let you have that, so can we just get some Sushi tonight instead?”
Her: “<irritated sigh> fine, we can get Sushi, but I get to pick the place”
And men, if you’re feeling ambitious, you can try to switch the word Sushi with 52” Flat Screen TV or Playstation 3, but I think that you get the picture. Remember; there are certain times in the year, or in certain situations for nine months straight, in which you just need to let her score that extra point regardless. Why? As a great man once said, “’cause droids don’t pull people’s arms out of their sockets when they lose.”
Play nice now.
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