In the course of time, men and women young and old have done many things in the name of love. We’ve given up habits, homes, friends, jobs, time, dreams; but it’s okay because we did it for love. Relationships are hard work even when circumstances are at their best; but long distance relationships definitely test the strength, patience, and trust of even the best person. Here is the first post of new staff writer, Sophia Horwich, in which she shares her experience with her own long distance relationship. If you can relate, send your story!
As I watch bugs hit the windshield of the front of the Megabus, I think to myself, this is what you do for love. I shift uncomfortably in my small seat, squished by the lack of leg room, sighing at the loud businessman behind me who has been on the phone for over three hours now. I sit back, put my headphones in, and doze to the daydream of the moment, a couple of hours from now, that I get to see my love. Long distance relationships; they’re messy, frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes, the most rewarding thing one can accomplish.
As little girls, we grow up with the romanticized idea of ‘star-crossed lovers’. That dreamy and impractical concept of being torn from the one you love, and stopping at nothing to get back to them. Today, we have different obstacles than Romeo and Juliet. Instead of long-standing family feuds, we have different colleges and different careers.
As my boyfriend of three years and I discussed our impending doom of attending separate colleges, we struggled to place a so-called value on our relationship. People would ask me, “Well, what’s more important to you, your future, or him?” I was perplexed! I thought what was important to me was to have a future with him.
One often finds this unbelievably negative stigma towards long distance relationships. People say it’s too hard, it’s not a real relationship, there’s no intimacy. What people (and myself, for six months that I spent apart from my boyfriend before getting back together) fail to recognize, is that there is so much more intimacy involved in long distance. In order for a relationship in that situation to succeed, one needs an immense amount of understanding for the other partner’s wants, needs, and moods. Long distance means not coming home from a long day, and not solving problems with sex. It means being able to feel someone’s love from across the country. It means having enough trust in someone to know, even if you don’t speak for days, that they are somewhere loving you and being true to you.
People think long distance is bad because they see it fail so often. And it fails so often because people fail to recognize that these are the components it takes to succeed. It’s like trying to bake a cake without flour: sure, it’ll be sweet the first couple tastes, but soon it will just seem flattened, unable to stand on it’s own and with all the wrong textures.
Long distance isn’t for everyone, in fact, I wish it wasn’t for anyone. But it can work. The way I see it, why would you spend time being without the one you love, when you could be with them in spirit, commitment, and love, all the time. And those moments you get with them in person, well, they make it all worthwhile.
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