Arguments. Good for Your Relationship? Your Health? Your Sex Life?


Hi All! This week’s post by staff writer Rigby Rat is about how small arguments  can turn into unnecessary larger arguments. Communication is key but so is listening!

This past weekend, while waiting for a friend to arrive via the New York Megabus, I became a spectator to an argument between a couple.  He – a laid-back kind of guy – dressed in jeans and a tight black t-shirt said, “Do you have to run to your mother every time she calls?”

She – a petulant pixie – in a romantic, Free People cotton romper (probably a size 2), angrily shoved the cell phone into his hand and then went on the attack sputtering, “If you can sit on your ass and watch nighttime soaps every Friday night, I’ll run wherever I damn well please.”

“Here we go,” I said to myself.  And there they went:

“I don’t watch soap operas.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I do not.”

“I never should have left James.”

“What did you say?”

“You heard me.”

(And off Antonio went, disappearing into the crowd.)

“Where are you going?  Antonio!  The bus is coming!  Jerk.”

Those of you who think this was an idiotic argument, raise your hand.  I agree.  When you stop and think about it, aren’t most squabbles silly?  Uh-huh.  So, how do you prevent dopey blowups from blossoming?

Let’s replay the tape.

Antonio: “Do you have to run to your mother every time she calls?”

Size 2: “Would you rather we spend more time together?”

Antonio: “Well, I don’t really mind your going over there.  It’s just that I’d like– yes, I’d like us to be together more – do something – on Friday nights.”

Size 2: “Duh, you watch TV every Friday because I’m at my mother’s.  Sorry.”

Antonio: “That’s okay.”

Size 2: “No it isn’t.  I’ll tell my mother no more Friday nights.  How’s that?”

Antonio: “How does this sound – you tell her every other Friday night and before you leave, give me a shopping list and I’ll go to Whole Foods and do the grocery shopping.  This way you don’t have to get up early Saturday morning and do it and we can sleep in.”

Size 2: “Sounds fair.  And sounds like a great solution to a problem I created.”

Dopey arguments don’t have to happen.  You CAN harmonize with your mate.  But it takes two.  Guys, you really gotta say what you mean.  When you don’t, you put her in the difficult position of trying to crack your code – not an easy task for most ladies.  Gals, if he communicates like Antonio, you have to be a good listener and you will have to read between the lines, or ask him questions for clarification.  Most importantly, be patient and understanding.  Why?  Because dopey arguments aren’t good for your relationship, your health, or your sex life.

Harmony is.

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