He’s On A Pedestal…What Should I Do?

This week’s post by staff writer Rigby Rat covers the pitfalls of putting your mate on a pedestal through the cautionary tale of her friend Alexis. Once the pedestal is in place, you’ll never hear the end of it if you waver one minute in your praise and reassurance of them. Has this happened to you or someone you know? Send in your story! Enjoy!

Pedestals are for statues, not mortal men.

My friend Alexis – a natural-born smart cookie – knows this.  That is why she dumped Rick: a guy she met on the Amtrak Acela Express to Boston.  He needed his ego bolstered every minute.  She wanted a guy whose confidence was less fragile.

Here’s their story:

Rick took Alexis to HIS favorite restaurant for dinner on Tuesday.

Friday night, Rick told Alexis he would be watching sports Saturday AND Sunday on his colossal Sharp Aquos Quattron LC-70LE732U flat-panel TV.   Alexis was not impressed with his “size”, nor did she join him that weekend.

The following Thursday, Alexis asked Rick if he wanted to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art on Sunday to see several of their current exhibits – including a collection of more than 30,000 baseball cards dating from 1887 –
1959.  Rick declined, stating that he ALWAYS watched sports on the weekends.

When Rick was a young child, his mother put him on a pedestal.  She worshipped him.  Made him feel perfect.  So, when Alexis mentioned to Rick that she liked to go out more and experience new things, Rick became sulky.

Instead of doing damage control for the next half-hour (like most women do) to make Rick feel better, Alexis went to the foyer and grabbed her coat.  Rick called his mother.  She told her number one son just what he wanted to hear – that he deserved to sit in front of the TV whenever he pleased.  On that note, Alexis left.

When a man resides on a pedestal, he thinks himself flawless.  His idea of a successful relationship is uncritical acceptance.  In addition, he believes he is fully evolved and has nothing to learn.

Alexis, on the other hand, believes her ideal partner is someone who will encourage her to learn new things throughout her life, recognize her faults and help her work on her shortcomings, and challenge her to become a better person.

If Rick remained on his pedestal, Alexis knew he would never become a better person, or learn new things.  She also knew it wasn’t her responsibility to jack hammer Rick from the protective perch his mama created.  If Rick wanted down, he’d have to take the step all by himself.  However, Alexis decided Rick wasn’t worth the wait.  The following week Alexis told Rick that they were not right for each other.  She confronted problems; he did not.  With a smile on her adorable face, she wished him well, then went with a chum to the Cornelia Street Cafe to listen to music and poetry readings.

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