It’s easy to feel as if each break-up or bad date is a swing and miss. I know I’ve wanted to cry foul a number of times; but love doesn’t have to be like a baseball game, you ARE allowed more than 3 tries to move towards each step of your winning relationship. The trick is to keep swinging; but keep in mind that stepping up to the plate means more than taking the swing, it’s learning how to adjust after each pitch life and love throw at you. In love, like baseball, you have to connect outwardly to advance to rounding the bases.
- First base: Connecting mentally. This is very important in being able to have any hope of moving forward. A guy/girl can be the most attractive or even richest; but for most of us, that initial point in our crush’s favor will get old usually sooner rather than later. I can assure you that looks, wealth, and sexual prowess can only keep a person interested for so long. Being with someone who has no common interests and bores you to tears will eventually strain things so much as to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. While we humans are shallow about what will draw us in, we’re also evolved enough to need more than someone pretty to look at. At this stage, talk a lot. See if there can be any conversation that makes you both want to find more in each other. If after a time conversation is more of a monologue, then you should head back to the plate and try again with someone else.
- Second base: Connect emotionally. If you pass first base, then you have a foundation to build on to for making an emotional bond. A strong mental connection really helps to set up the road towards a meaningful emotion connection as a romantic relationship which has a basis in friendship helps in trust-building necessary to love.
- Third base: Connect physically. If you and your significant other can get through the first two steps, then it’s time to step up to third base by connecting physically. True, by now, there has been kissing and some hands; but by now you should have a good idea of whether or not you love or can love the person you’re with. If you do, then connecting physically or sexually has a deeper meaning for you; it makes you question whether this person could fit into your life on a long-term basis or if this is just a passing but meaningful relationship that’s getting you closer to that long haul relationship. Tread lightly, emotions will be even higher at this stage and it is easy to get swept up before you allow yourself to figure out what it all means.
- Home: Connect for the long-haul. Now, I know very well that nothing is for certain. Following the first three steps in the pursuit of the perfect romance for you may not meet with success 100% of the time; but if you continue to nurture the first three steps: connecting mentally, emotionally, and physically, the odds will be very high in there being a happily ever after in the future of your relationship. We have to remember that paying attention to the big and small things and the importance of love and appreciation is a large piece in the puzzle of lasting relationships.
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