Unfortunately with relationships like with everything else, we must take the good with the bad. And the big bad that rears its ugly head in far too many relationships is lack of trust in your partner. This post, by staff writer Stephanie Becerra, gives an example of how trust issues and lack of boundaries can give a knock out punch to a relationship.
I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine about one of our mutual friends. Apparently, he has recently become official with our friend who he spent a little over a year trying to woo. Our friend had recently gotten out of a 6 year relationship and not without a couple of wounds, one of those being trust issues. Let me also say that this couple is disgustingly cute where if you see them you would immediately turn away because the sweetness is too much. However, I recently came to find out that this is deceiving. Despite spending basically 24/7 together, my friend’s girlfriend still has trust issues and is constantly questioning his faithfulness to the point where she will randomly check his phone and log into his Facebook. My friend doesn’t seem to have a problem with it because “he has nothing to hide.”
There are about 20 things wrong in what I just described. First of all, trust. It’s been said before and I will say it again, if there is no trust in the relationship, it is not going to last no matter how badly you would like it to. And if it does last, it will be an unhappy one. It doesn’t matter if you have nothing to hide, allowing your significant other to constantly keep tabs on you so as to not upset them is not ok. There needs to be boundaries that are firmly set in place. If you truly trust your partner, you don’t need to dig around for hints and clues that they might be cheating.
Another problem that I delicately tried to point out to my friend is that they spend entirely too much time together. I understand that every relationship goes through a honeymoon phase where you’re basically wrapped up in only each other and nothing and no one else exists. This is okay but eventually you have to snap out of it and stop neglecting your friends. Having separate lives and activities is healthy for a relationship because let’s say it doesn’t work out. If you didn’t ignore your friends throughout this “honeymoon” phase, they’ll be more likely to be there and help you pick up the pieces.
And also, if you’re in this type of situation, try not to confide in a mutual friend because it puts that person in a very awkward situation. I would know.
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