My Best Friend Slept With My Husband. Now What?

This article by staff writer, Rigby Rat, tackles a situation that is a nightmare almost every woman never wants to be a part of. If you have ever been in this situation or know someone who has, please feel free to email me with your story to share.

This happened to a friend of mine. She was incredibly civilized about the ordeal. Hubby’s breach of the marriage contract did not send her swallowing fistfuls of antidepressants, or grabbing the largest steak knife from the kitchen drawer and hurling it at the bastard. Instead, she waxed philosophical. For several days she methodically revisited her history with her husband. Then she looked for the answer to this question: What part did I play in my husband’s straying?

Does a woman play a part in her husband’s straying? Absolutely. Men are insecure creatures; more so than women. Bruise their ego and they step into another woman’s embrace (or a strip joint) for validation that they are worthy of love, sexual intimacy, and attention.

However, when a guy’s self-esteem is dwindling, that doesn’t give him the right to switch partners. Instead, he needs to sit you down and have a heart to heart. What should you do? Shut up and listen. Don’t bring up YOUR feelings, just zip it for once in your life and empathize. Pay attention to what he wants, or doesn’t want: more sex, more hand-holding, showers together, no name-calling, no arguments, a kiss goodbye every morning…

If your husband already slept with your best friend, it’s your decision as to whether you want to kick him in the nuts, or remain rationally calm. Know this: if you’re in a relationship, it takes two – two to make the relationship fail, or two to make the relationship succeed.

What did my friend do? She divorced her husband and remained amicable with him. He married the best friend. My friend attended the wedding. She harbors no ill will, carries no baggage, nor stuffs herself with chocolate bars and pints of Häagen-Dazs. Is this the answer for everyone? No. However, clemency and moving on sure beats the hell out of a lifetime of acrimony.

 

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