Full disclosure in relationships or not? This topic, tackled by staff writer Stephanie Becerra, is one that many of us have asked at one time or other. Sometimes, keeping the peace requires a little blurring of the lines.
Lying is bad. Obviously lying is bad. But sometimes those little white lies can be the make or break in a relationship. Whether you’ve been together for years or are just starting out, it’s probably never a good idea to be 100% honest with your partner. And I’m sure this goes against everything you’ve ever learned but trust me, I know from personal experience that being completely honest with a significant other is not always the smartest choice.
Let’s tackle some obvious instances in which honesty is just not encouraged.
- Do I look fat in this? No, no you do not. You look perfect and for the love of god will you just pick an outfit so we can go.
- Is he/she better looking than me? Of course not. You are beautiful and the only light in my life.
- Am I your best friend? Yes. I tell you all my deepest darkest secrets except for the stupid things I’ve done that I keep from you because they may upset you, in which case I tell my other best friend.
These are pretty obvious cases in which your responses should be on autopilot lest you’d like to upset your partner. There are other instances; however, in which honesty is tricky. Here are some examples:
- A guy/girl made a move on you but you rejected it and nothing came of it. In these situations, it is a case in which you tell your partner because you agreed in being honest about those things, or you keep it to yourself because what’s the point of upsetting them if nothing did or will happen. These are more complicated and really depend on the person/couple. If you feel as if you’d want to know if this occurred with your significant other, then by all means tell away. On the other hand, if it will just bring unnecessary drama to a happy relationship, then there’s really no point in sharing things like this.
- You’re taking a break or have broken up and see someone else while on hiatus. To tell or not to tell. In this case, I say you do tell. If you’re getting back together with someone and starting anew, it’s always best to be completely honest about what happened when you weren’t together and this way the trust will hopefully be rebuilt.
So to summarize. Lying is bad. Unless your partner asks you about their appearance, then it’s a necessity.
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