This post by staff writer, Stephanie Becerra, bring valid points in the necessity of letting go of negative feelings regarding break-ups. Anger towards the person who you feel has wronged you might help in the beginning; but when it’s all you hold on to, those feelings poison you and prevent you from finding happiness. Read this post and comment if you find yourself relating to these feelings.
Don’t hold a grudge. Forgive and forget. Let go and let live. How many times have we heard these sayings throughout our lives? If you’re the type of person to hold a grudge, especially against former romantic partners, then I’m sure it’s been plenty. It’s easy to dole out relationship advice on the benefits of forgiving and forgetting and letting go of resentments, but it’s a different thing entirely to actually put that advice to use.
When a relationship ends, it can often times be messy. If it’s amicable, then wonderful but that’s the ideal situation that doesn’t often occur. In the cases of a break up due to infidelity, a grudge is expected, if not encouraged by those surrounding us. But in all honesty, who is this grudge actually hurting? I have had friends who loathe their exes for reasons that no longer matter once the relationship is over. Anger, hurt, betrayal – these are all normal emotions that occur when a sudden break up occurs. It’s fine to feel this way but to hold on to the feelings of anger for weeks, months, and years to come is not.
I have learned the hard way that the only way to move on is to let go. Let go of any past resentments and anger you harbor towards your ex. Of course like most things in life, this is much easier said than done. I myself am borderline self-diagnosed OCD and can become obsessed with the tiniest thing so letting go is extremely difficult. But it can be achieved. To do so, I will often ask myself, what would a “rational” person do? A rational person would realize that while I am holding these feelings of anger, my ex is off happily on their merry way and the only person who’s being affected by the negativity is me.
So while holding on to resentment and anger may make you feel better for the time being, at the end of the day the only one who’s getting hurt is you. My advice is to just let it go. It will take time and work and positive affirmations, but it can be done. And if not, make sure to flaunt someone much better looking in your ex’s face. But I suggest trying the former first.