This an updated version of my post “Is The Grass Really Greener On The Other Side”. In this version, I discuss the pros and cons of looking at alternatives to what we have whether we need to or not. Our newest contributor, psychic medium Michael Mapes, co-writes this article and helps to bring further perspective to this question.
We all would like to think that there is always something better just on the other side. We’re not necessarily unhappy with what’s going on in our lives; but we seem to have in the back of our minds that if we change things, then yes, this will be what will make me happiest. A lot of times, we forget to count our blessings so to speak and want things to just fall into place. We feel we only need to work on things when they go badly. We don’t think that preventative work would make any future bumps in the road remain bumps and not escalate to mountains.
Whether we wish to acknowledge it or not, relationships are hard work. You can think of it as you would fitness. When you start out, you’re figuring out what works for you and what might need some tweaking. As you continue working on it and determining your strength and endurance, you see what you can accomplish and begin to see the rewards. As you continue with it, you find yourself in a “maintenance state”. You find yourself in the situation you want to be; but you know that to keep it going, you’ll have to do some maintenance. You’ll change a little thing here and there to not get stale, but you’re working to keep your improved situation for as long as possible. This concept is the same with relationships. We work towards getting to where we want to be and then continue to work to maintain what we’ve accomplished; but we are by no means to be complacent about what we’ve done so far or where we’ve gone on the journey. We continue to build on our previous work and improve on our efforts to keep the rewards and even gain greater ones.
Unfortunately, work in a relationship has gained such a negative connotation. It’s become something to dread or even something to avoid if possible. We’ve forgotten that perception is a state of mind. If we look at something a certain way, then that’s what it becomes in our eyes. If we determine that this thing can and will be good and healthy for us, then so it shall become. On the flip-side, if we’re determined to be negative about a thing, then this will be shrouded in darkness and be seen as if it is a cloud over our heads. If we let ourselves give our present state a second look and further consideration, we might see that a drastic change isn’t really necessary. A dash of spice, a pinch of sunny optimism, and a sprinkle of gratitude for the good that is already there would go a long way towards our very own green pasture on our present landscape.
Michael’s Input: I think the hardest part of any relationship is when things are going less than perfectly to be able to recognize when we need to shift our perspective and really work on healing a relationship and when it is time to say good-bye so that both of you can bring a relationship into your life that will better serve each of you.
Kelleye hits the nail on the head when she says that too often we think of work in a relationship as a bad thing instead of something that, if we truly commit to us, can allow us to discover deeper dimensions of our partner and create passion and romance over and over again. In a job, we value someone who has the tenacity to reinvent themselves, to continually try new things and to think outside of the box. Why have we come to resent these qualities in relationships?
As a psychic, too often I see people either wasting their energy on a person who is clearly not interested in them or sabotaging a really good relationship that they have in their life. If you find yourself doing this, it is time to take a good, hard look at your own sense of self-worth. Do you truly believe that you are “worth” a long-lasting and loving relationship? From a spiritual perspective, we work to be content exactly where we are at the present moment. Gratitude exercises like reciting everything you are grateful for about your partner can help us move away from best and worst case scenario planning, which ultimately detract from our present happiness, and help us stay grounded in the present moment. If you are unhappy with your partner be willing to have an honest conversation with yourself about whether your partner is the problem or something about your perception is causing the conflict.
When you are honest with yourself that you deserve to be happy and content in each moment of your life you begin to create a life in which that becomes not possibility but reality.
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