Letting Go

This post by staff writer, Stephanie Becerra, bring valid points in the necessity of letting go of negative feelings regarding break-ups. Anger towards the person who you feel has wronged you might help in the beginning; but when it’s all you hold on to, those feelings poison you and prevent you from finding happiness. Read this post and comment if you find yourself relating to these feelings.

Don’t hold a grudge. Forgive and forget. Let go and let live. How many times have we heard these sayings throughout our lives? If you’re the type of person to hold a grudge, especially against former romantic partners, then I’m sure it’s been plenty. It’s easy to dole out relationship advice on the benefits of forgiving and forgetting and letting go of resentments, but it’s a different thing entirely to actually put that advice to use.

When a relationship ends, it can often times be messy. If it’s amicable, then wonderful but that’s the ideal situation that doesn’t often occur. In the cases of a break up due to infidelity, a grudge is expected, if not encouraged by those surrounding us. But in all honesty, who is this grudge actually hurting? I have had friends who loathe their exes for reasons that no longer matter once the relationship is over. Anger, hurt, betrayal – these are all normal emotions that occur when a sudden break up occurs. It’s fine to feel this way but to hold on to the feelings of anger for weeks, months, and years to come is not.

I have learned the hard way that the only way to move on is to let go. Let go of any past resentments and anger you harbor towards your ex. Of course like most things in life, this is much easier said than done. I myself am borderline self-diagnosed OCD and can become obsessed with the tiniest thing so letting go is extremely difficult. But it can be achieved. To do so, I will often ask myself, what would a “rational” person do? A rational person would realize that while I am holding these feelings of anger, my ex is off happily on their merry way and the only person who’s being affected by the negativity is me.

So while holding on to resentment and anger may make you feel better for the time being, at the end of the day the only one who’s getting hurt is you. My advice is to just let it go. It will take time and work and positive affirmations, but it can be done. And if not, make sure to flaunt someone much better looking in your ex’s face. But I suggest trying the former first.

Advertisements

Are You Turning Your Wife Into Your Mother?

Here’s another great post by Rigby Rat. Men, if you find yourself treating your wife a little more like a housekeeper than the sexy love of your life, then it’s time to get your head out of your butt and start treating her better. Read this article and change your ways!

Yeah, you are.  I’ll prove it. When you were little your mother said, “Clean up your room.”  She said this for two reasons: 1. She enjoyed a tidy house.  2. To teach you to clean up after yourself.  When your wife says, “Would you pick up your dirty socks?” who does she sound like?  That’s right, your mother.  You may have left your socks lying around when you were twelve because you were lazy – or to be a prick – but your wife isn’t your mother.  I’ll say it again, your wife didn’t birth you.

Your wife is the woman you take sexy showers with and fantasize about.  Then why the heck do you leave dirty socks in her path?  WELL?  Listen Einstein, your mother changed your diapers.  You’ve been out of diapers for how long?  Then pick up your own damn socks.  Better yet, never leave them in your wife’s way.  Instead, do something more productive.  Go into the bathroom, light some scented candles, put the radio on low, start the shower, wrap a towel around your naked torso, grab the back brush, go find your wife, put a come hither look on your face, and ask her if she wants her back rubbed.  You want a lover for life?  Then NEVER, EVER treat your wife like she’s your mother.

The Power of Faith

I had a phone conversation with my mom yesterday intending to merely catch up and to wish her well on her birthday. What I got out of the conversation was a reminder of the power of calling into being things that haven’t occurred but that we want in our lives, or simply the power of faith.

In the course of the conversation, we spoke about work, future hobbies, and the current state of my writing adventure. I have been very blessed in having so many opportunities to share my thoughts and my work with blogs, websites, and publications. And with this in mind, I told my mom about my intentions of writing a book based parts of my blog. I had planned, started, and fallen off the wagon many times when it’s come to my book projects; but there is something infinitely fulfilling and uplifting in working on a book project that comes from personal experiences and life lessons. Upon hearing my passion for this new project, my mom began a prayer while on the phone with me. I had a Christian upbringing so this didn’t come as a surprise, but I haven’t actively gone to church in quite some years. I was honored and touched that my mom believed so much in me and my project, that she would say a prayer with and for me. And in this time of connection with my mom, I remembered so many times of doubt and troubled times and praying with my mom and praying by myself which helped to bring peace.

While there are plenty of people out there that don’t believe in God; and I respect that, most of us can agree to there being a “Higher Power” and can think of times during which we sent up a prayer about something. Sometimes, it just that small moment that can mean a lot and be the push we need to move steady on.

 

I hope you enjoyed this post and send your own “faith moments”. Friend me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or email me directly at kelleyesrobinson@gmail.com. Cheers and love to everyone!

What Happens When Social Media Meets Dating

With the ever-present involvement of social media in so many aspects of daily life, it’s definitely fair to remember that what we put out for public consumption is a reflection of what and how we are. Fair or not, most don’t see these things as part of a whole, but rather as the sum of the whole. Perspective on both sides can go a long way. So with that in mind, check out this article from No Strings Dating on the pros and cons of social media in the world of dating.

 

You don’t necessarily need to be signed up for an online dating site to meet someone online.  The number of couples who have met on Facebook and Twitter are rising, and no matter how you’ve met, these social media outlets are becoming some of our favorite ways to scope out or investigate potential dates from the comfort of our couches.  Online dating goes way beyond your online dating profile.

Before a date, I like to take note if we have any friends in common-and if so, which ones-and take my time judging their status updates.  Are they funny? Political? Or just really lame?  Do they use proper grammar? What do the rest of their photos really look like?  Are they flirting with everyone on their page?  All of these things give us the chance to see if we are in fact, a match.  Some might argue that one shouldn’t be judged based on what they tweet or the things they say on Facebook.  But in the world we live in, isn’t our digital persona almost a direct reflection of our “in real life” one?  It’s who we are, magnified and squeezed into 140 character blurbs.  And yes, your Facebook might be “yours”…but you’re putting it out there for the world to see, so in my opinion, it’s more than ok to judge.  It’s smart!

Of course, your opinion of their online behavior should only be part of the puzzle.  If a guy you’re dating is absolutely incredible in person but constantly updates his Facebook with annoying things, maybe it’s worth overlooking-or at least blocking his updates and just spending time together in person for now.

And on the flip side, consider the things you share online…someone just might be judging you.  Hey, it’s only fair!

No Strings Dating is a U.K. Adult online dating site and blog, where we share sex tips for casual daters.