Here’s a must-read post from staff writer, Stephanie Becerra, about the need to be at peace with yourself before being ready to start a relationship. Enjoy!
I’ve never been the type of person who has felt the need to constantly be in a relationship. I treasure and appreciate my alone time and other than Valentine’s Day or Christmas, holidays where I can bank in on the gifts, I’m pretty much all right without a significant other by my side.
Many people however, cannot fathom the idea of being alone and are constantly falling in and out of “love”. These individuals believe that when one love ends, another can instantly begin. They jump from relationship to relationship, claiming love and are then surprised when heartbreak inevitably occurs.
I have a friend who has outright admitted that he cannot be alone and continues to carry on an unhappy relationship for this very reason. When I ask him why he can’t be alone, he says it’s because he cannot stand the solitude and just being with himself. And this is there the problem lies.
In order to be happy with someone else, you need to first be happy with yourself. This particular adage should be obvious, but you would be surprised. Not many people take into account that the reason why a certain relationship is not working, is because they are not first of all satisfied with themselves. This dissatisfaction and unhappiness festers and eventually sabotages anything that could have been.
When a person is happy, confident and independent, that is what they will attract. The opposite holds true. As well When a person is unhappy, anxious and self-conscious, that is also what they will attract. Relationships and significant others are not meant to substitute a missing piece you may have. You are already whole. If something is missing, a boyfriend or girlfriend is not going to fill that, and jumping in and out of relationships is not going to help.
The only person that can make you indescribably happy, is you. When you can first achieve that, then you can make room in your heart for another person. So please don’t be afraid of being alone. If anything, you can always pick up a hobby or adopt a puppy. I hear French bulldogs make the perfect companion.