Quote of the Day

When you realize that humility, compromise, and trustworthiness are as part of a lasting love as passion, then you are ready for love when it comes your way.

Advertisements

Naked

If any of us were asked, “what was the worst dream you’ve ever had?”, most of us would answer being caught in public without our clothes on. We feel this way because it’s our fear of being seen as vulnerable. The idea of vulnerability gives us the feeling of weakness and inferiority. We don’t like being openly acknowledged as being unprepared. In other words, we don’t like being caught with our pants down.

Unfortunately, this negative feeling towards vulnerability carries over into most relationships. We don’t usually like to feel as if someone has power over us, especially emotional power. It’s all well and good for someone to hold our love and desire because usually this has been given freely; but to have control of our emotions, to know our fears and weaknesses, this is unacceptable for another person to be able to see and possibly use against us. This thought is one that’s gone through many a mind when considering how much we’re willing to let someone in. Taking the leap and trusting someone with all our heart is a frightening thing; it’s hard to be able to believe that he or she will catch you when you fall and stick around when they do find out our weaknesses. It’s a scary risk; but with the right person, it is one well worth the cost. So many times fear and pride has had more control of our thoughts and feelings about relationships than faith. This common issue is one that is necessary to work on for our own sakes as well as that of those that wish to share a life with us. We need to let ourselves see the positivity in vulnerability.

There’s freedom in letting yourself be vulnerable and even more so a power in putting yourself out there with no qualifiers or walls. The trick in being more confident in our “nakedness” is taking an inward look at what we feel is imperfect about ourselves and owning those imperfections as something that makes us unique.  We shouldn’t fear our imperfections, we should embrace them with the confidence that our imperfections are the difference in what we are and what we could be. Being more “naked” can help us in all sorts of aspects of our lives. We can take a long look at ourselves and focus in on what is different about us and really see whether our imperfections are really something that’s holding us back or if they are something we need to magnify with confidence.

And with that final thought, I challenge you all to take a few minutes once a week to really look at yourself, both your “public” self and your “private” self and come up with 2 things about yourself; one thing that you love about yourself and one thing that you hate about yourself. What is it about what you love about yourself that gives you such confidence to show it to the world? What is it about what you hate about yourself that you feel you have to hide it or change it? I’d love to hear your answers to this introspective challenge. Be an inspiration to yourself  and let that inspiration spread to others.

Be Happy With Yourself First

Here’s a must-read post from staff writer, Stephanie Becerra, about the need to be at peace with yourself before being ready to start a relationship. Enjoy!

I’ve never been the type of person who has felt the need to constantly be in a relationship. I treasure and appreciate my alone time and other than Valentine’s Day or Christmas, holidays where I can bank in on the gifts, I’m pretty much all right without a significant other by my side.

Many people however, cannot fathom the idea of being alone and are constantly falling in and out of “love”. These individuals believe that when one love ends, another can instantly begin. They jump from relationship to relationship, claiming love and are then surprised when heartbreak inevitably occurs.

I have a friend who has outright admitted that he cannot be alone and continues to carry on an unhappy relationship for this very reason. When I ask him why he can’t be alone, he says it’s because he cannot stand the solitude and just being with himself. And this is there the problem lies.

In order to be happy with someone else, you need to first be happy with yourself. This particular adage should be obvious, but you would be surprised. Not many people take into account that the reason why a certain relationship is not working, is because they are not first of all satisfied with themselves. This dissatisfaction and unhappiness festers and eventually sabotages anything that could have been.

When a person is happy, confident and independent, that is what they will attract. The opposite holds true. As well When a person is unhappy, anxious and self-conscious, that is also what they will attract. Relationships and significant others are not meant to substitute a missing piece you may have. You are already whole. If something is missing, a boyfriend or girlfriend is not going to fill that, and jumping in and out of relationships is not going to help.

The only person that can make you indescribably happy, is you. When you can first achieve that, then you can make room in your heart for another person. So please don’t be afraid of being alone. If anything, you can always pick up a hobby or adopt a puppy. I hear French bulldogs make the perfect companion.