Are We Letting Ourselves Be Type-casted?

We’ve all heard the typical stereotypes like: “Women are just so clingy” or “Men have to stay in control; it’s the natural way of things”. Now don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that there aren’t clingy women, but I will say that women don’t corner the market on clingy. Most people have seen or heard about clingy men almost as much as we dump on clingy women. When we talk about clingy men, the description of clingy is usually synonymous with being possessive and controlling. Sure, depending on the physical proportions of the man, the words “whipped” or “weak” also come to mind; but let’s face it women are usually seen as the clingy ones in a relationship. We do have relationships out there that are relatively equal with a near 50% split on decisions and we also have relationships in which the woman is in control and while these types of relationships are growing somewhat in prevalence, relationships tend to be more “male in control”.

Another example is from the book “The Ultimate Guide for Men to Understand Women” by Alex & Elizabeth Lluch. In this book, the authors use the scenario of a male’s penchant for porn as an instant threat to a relationship in the woman’s eyes. In this book, the authors imply that women as a whole view porn (i.e. porn magazines and strip clubs) as a statement meaning that the man in the relationship doesn’t find her desirable enough or fulfilling enough so he has to “get his fill” elsewhere. While I agree with the authors’ suggestion to have a conversation about your reasons for the man’s possible need for porn I disagree with the suggestion to pick and choose what to tell your mate and tell only some of the reasons. A lie by omission is still a lie. Everyone has their reasons for their deeds and beliefs; but along similar lines, it’s not good to assume, as it seems to make fools of the assumer and the assumed. Are we coming to our own conclusions about things or are we letting our minds be made up for us?

The Date Is In The Details

Whatever happened to the days of flowers and candy on the first date? The days in which no pressure dates during which the most important thing that was happening was the thrill of discovery? The days in which the first kiss was something to aspire to and not just a small step on the way to getting the other person into bed? Sometimes, simplicity isn’t such a bad thing. We’re so caught up in the endgame that we forget the little details along the way. Transfer a few thoughts towards the little things, and you might realize that a little goes a long way.

Is Conversation A Lost Art?

In this age of Twitter, Facebook, and text messaging, are we socially handicapping ourselves with social media outlets? Today, we’ve become so used to 140-160 characters or less exchanges that full length conversations have gone to the wayside. In the dating world, it seems to be preferred to choose a venue in which chatting isn’t necessary or is even frowned on for first date choices. We’ve become so “instant-gratification” oriented that if we’re not impressed in the first few minutes of meeting, we move on. When did conversation become so overrated?

Many relationships and relationships that could have been come to a screeching halt due to confusion, miscommunication, and or no communication. Is it because we want the other person to be intuitive like our technology supposedly able to know what we are thinking without our having to complete the thought? We seem to want a prospective date that comes with a you-tube how-to video rather than take the time to take the other person for a test drive by getting to know them and seeing what happens. You can’t always judge a book by its cover or know everything you need to about another person in 5 minutes or less. Take the time to engage in conversation; you might be pleasantly surprised to see what you find out after the 160th character.