Don’t waste your heart and mind on resentment. It only adds scar tissue to what time has tried to heal.
I have hope for the future, not because I feel it is owed to me but because I have too curious a nature to not see what I contribute with my existence. I have faith because I desire above all else to leave the world better for having been in it.
This is a wonderful article from guest blogger, Alexandra from Background Hawk on arming yourself with information when meeting someone new. Enjoy, comment, and share!
It takes a lot of effort and calming of the nerves to get to know someone on a deeper level and actually trust them enough to want to go out on a real face-to-face date with them; and in the crazy world we live in today, if you aren’t 100% sure that the John you imagined meeting, really is who he says he is, then chances are you could be up for some major disappointment…or worse.
There are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t even blink at the idea of misleading you and creating a picture of someone and something they really aren’t. Basic instinct should be your first guide when dealing with a prospective new date. How you feel about the guy should tell you what to do, but if your head and your heart aren’t on the same bandwagon, there are a few steps you can take in order to do your own research.
- Take a peek into his different online persona’s
Platforms such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram give you a personal and more detailed peek into someone’s personality, even though it may only be what they are showing the virtual world, it could still give you some pointers. If his profile is bombarded with crass images and millions of friends it should be sending of some alarms. Snoop around a bit. A little Facebook browsing never hurt anyone.
- Make use of free public searches
If you’re not having luck digging up any dirt on the social media platforms, then head on over to the public records. Sure you can do it old school and hit the local courts to sift through the records to see if he’s got any dirt hidden in the closet (but that could take ages, and in today’s fast paced world, who has the time for that?), or you can play it easy, and use sites such as www.criminalsearches.com , which has all the criminal records form the United States listed on there. If they appear on the public records then you should be able to find it there.
- Dig a little deeper
There’s a site called www.PeekYou.com that gives you a summary of all the different social media profiles that one person has. Take what you find here and compare it carefully. If he’s an IT manager in his one “life” and an Art Director in the next, head for the hills, ASAP! Sites like these work great in giving you a perspective of what exactly makes himself out to be and can really help you when you want to try to determine who and what he really is.
- Get in touch
Okay so no one likes to be a snooper, but every once in a while you have to simply take a deep breath and gather the guts to actually phone or meet up with one of his friends. Ask about who he is and what he’s all about. His friends might not be all too eager to spill the beans about him; but this is well worth a shot, and you might just find some info that could otherwise remain unheard of here.
- Get an OPEN perspective of things
If you haven’t heard of it by bow, do yourself a favor and go check out the site www.Openbook.org . It lists all archived comments and posts a specific person (obviously the one you are digging into) has ever made or been tagged in on Facebook. This step might be a little border line stalker behavior, but hey, you never know what you could uncover with a little browsing!
- Do a DEEP Internet Search
Sometimes due to the fact that we tend to use either the wrong passwords or the fact that we just don’t know exactly what to search for search engines such as Google and Bing will omit results or just not see them as relevant and thus you’ll end up without a hit on what you’re searching for. This is where sites such as www.Pipl.com come in, and man is it handy! It’s a little more like a people networking site but it does some crazy deep web digging, and goes into places and spaces that Google wont. If he exists on the internet then chances are Pipl will have something on him.
The tactics we talked about here are ways in which you can conduct your own form of online research and do a little DIY Background checking on that potential date you have in mind. If all else fails and you still don’t have any dodgy details, he might actually be who he says he is, but if you still have a weird instinctive feeling that all isn’t as it seems then do yourself a favor and get help from the pros.
An advanced background check from a quality service provider will get you all the details you ever needed and so much more. Their results are accurate and up to date – but you have to be sure you use a reputable and reliable service provider. They can get you details on just about anything from criminal history to driving offenses listings and more, but off course the services they deliver do come at a price. Good things are hard to come by and they certainly don’t come for free. It’s something well worth investing in if you have a creepy feeling about someone!
To round things up, there are countless ways in which the internet can help you conduct a quick and effective background check on someone. Not all players in the dating game are that bad, and not everyone is out to get you, but the reality is that there really are cyber stalkers and cons out there who would love the opportunity to take you for a ride. The golden rule however still remains: trust your gut instinct. If something or someone looks too good to be true, then sadly, it probably is and you should be heading in the opposite direction.
Alexandra is a member of the BackgroundHawk.com team, bringing you tips on how to date safely, and reviews of background checking services.
Duty without honor is merely a burden to those who choose to let their actions be guided by praise; but those who would choose honor above reward find a contentment that lasts forever.
Dream big. Work towards that dream. Get that dream. Repeat with another dream.
It doesn’t matter if your first step is small, as long as you’re moving forward.
Sometimes, you have to sit with your situation to figure out what to do next.
You are your first love. Cherish yourself.
Never mourn a life cut short, celebrate the life that was lived and memories given.
Have you ever met someone that you connected with right away? Have you ever felt that initial impression bringing a smile to your face? Have you felt the surety that what is happening in that time is pure and genuine? Oh new infatuation. That first inkling of promise, the shining hope that this new thing remains as good and as wonderful as it began. I just got to experience that very recently, and I can’t wait to see what happens next. I have the luxury of at least emailing with this person daily which helps bridge the life/distance gap, and in some ways, keeps things from getting too complicated too fast. I’m not saying to over-think and find a list of everything that could go wrong, but I would say watch the signs. Watch for any red flags and pay attention to what’s being said and unsaid. More times than not, the actions could show way more or way more truthfully what’s really going on in someone’s mind. It’s best to go into every new relationship with eyes wide open, heart leading the way with your brain as your navigation system. As for me with MY new, full steam ahead hoping for all the best.