Scale the walls of your fears and break up with your comfort zone. When you have done so, you will finally gain entry to a new, well-lived life.
Now let me preface this post by what I mean by “raised”. In this case, I don’t mean raised from childhood; I’m referencing that golden time of late teens to early 20s when high school is behind you, the bloom is not as off the rose as you project, and adulthood begins with a hazing that puts Greek life in college to shame. I’m talking about going from newly minted adult to “where did my 20s go?” adult.
Ok, now that we have that out-of-the-way, I will admit to being 27. To some, that puts me at a time of life that’s not in the position to write such a post with the proper amount of authority; but, this is my blog so I can say what I like.
My newly minted adulthood began at the tender age of 17. Since my birthday is Halloween, my high school graduation preceded my legal adult status. I couldn’t vote but I could start a new adventure into a different life. I’m originally from South Carolina; and before I started my adult journey, I was able to get a small taste of what else was out there in the big bad world at 15 when I was invited to attend an elite seminar for highly ambitious high school students interested in the field of law. Small town girl, meet Beverly Hills. It was about as different as could be for a girl who had never traveled outside of the Southeast and had only heard about or read about travel. It was only a week, but boy was it an eye opener. That week alone sealed my desire and fate for moving to California at 17.
California welcomed me to adulthood with a fistful of reality wrapped in big city noise, a healthy amount of cynicism and a challenge to put up or shut up. Could I survive the path of adulthood I forged for myself or would I give up because of what I put up with? At 17, my first job was as a live-in caregiver for a wheelchair bound man with a large temper, a taste of liquor and a vocabulary of curse words that would make a storied sailor feel right at home. I did this job for just about 4 months until just after I turned 18 and couldn’t take the sleep deprivation and quarantine from humanity with just barely enough to go searching for new work and new living quarters.
My new job was a variation of my last one, still a caregiver for a wheelchair bound man, but one decidedly more independent and instead had more of a taste for the ladies rather than liquor. He loved to look and had no problem paying a compliment, inappropriate or not. To say the least, the attention was very uncomfortable and made the working environment less than desirable. No girl really wants a lecherous man giving her a hard time at work and stalking her even after she removes herself from the situation. And no, I didn’t have it coming. I didn’t encourage it and I took myself out the situation as best I could with a trusted friend there as I gave my immediate notice and collected my last check on the spot.
Navigating love, lust, dating, and relationships was also an experience. I was to learn the hard way that the road to love is not as humorous or cute as it is in the movies. I dated one-trick pony guys, passionate musicians, divorcees, perpetual frat boy types, executives, bad boys, nice guys…you get the picture. I’ve called myself a chameleon for years and still stand by that description. My reasoning? Depending on the type of guy I get involved with, I become a different person. I don’t become the type of person I feel they want or need me to be to validate their choice in dating me, I change and evolve based on how that person makes me feel. I take compliments with a grain of salt and don’t let myself get distracted by the words. I’ve become a hardened believer in “actions speak louder than words” and they are deafening in their truth.
Am I using this post to push suspicion as a tactic in dealing with people? No. Realism, yes. Let others tell you who and what they really are by their actions. If they’re genuine, their actions and words will match. If not, then keep it moving.
There are no hidden messages in life, only those unspoken, unseen, and untouched.
Now before any of you think I’m speaking of someone in particular, I’m not. I’m speaking to every man who’s ever spoken to me and has found out that I have an active blog. One of the first things to be noticed on my blog is that it was initially for quite some time a relationship blog. While writing my blog, I’ve usually made it a point to poke fun at myself or publicly fall on my own relationship sword as a way to give some teaching moments but also to show others that the road to love is usually full of obstacles and awesomely bad dates. I never aimed to be one of those writers who basically puts my exes on blast since I would want the same courtesy. Just because we didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean there’s a blog post bull’s-eye on your back. So on behalf of more of the bloggers, relationship and otherwise out there, the people in our lives do tend to provide a point of reference of our material but sometimes it’s the situations and not the people directly involved that make the posts. Rest assured, if you upset me enough to go off on you (royal you) , I’ll do it in person and not on my blog. Ain’t nobody got time for that time bomb.
Complaints are not an acceptable way of making it through life. If you’re moved to raise your voice for a cause, let it be for the right reason and be ready to follow through. You can’t expect change to happen if you’re not willing to light the torch and carry it to the end.
Never be ashamed of your backstory. It is your origin and ensuing journey that has influenced what you are now. You can never be what you are without a beginning.
Though sorrow comes, it does not diminish love. Peace cannot fail to join where there is love.
Eat until you’re nourished. Gorge on knowledge.
Who are you to say there is no glory and you have no power? There is glory in every breath you take, every blink of the eye, every heartbeat. You did not create the earth but you effect every change the earth takes and the future it passes to future generations. What more can you ask for when HE who has given you life has also entrusted you with His second best creation, the world around us?
What is a norm? It is what we let society dictate; if you disagree, challenge it and change the norm.