Staff writer Stephany Salinas discusses the subject of cooking and the modern woman and the need of balance of things to offer in a relationship.
“I will tell you what all you modern hipster chicks are afraid to admit and what nobody but your grandmother or your gay best friend will tell you… Every man wants to be married to a 1950s housewife… minus the racism.”
I heard this quote about a month or two ago when the CBS show “Partners” (which is now canceled) was on. What happened was the main character’s fiancée was questioning why she had to cook when she was a working woman. Also, let me state, she didn’t know HOW to cook. Which was another part of the problem. So her gay best friend tells her the quote above, in hopes of getting her to cook for him, thus putting a little more spark into the relationship.
Now, I’ll admit, the quote itself does sound a little bit male-chauvinistic. However, when you actually think about it, it makes complete and total sense. And maybe it’s just the way I was brought, but a woman who can’t cook? What?!
It blows my mind when a girl says she can’t cook or hates cooking, but takes pride in the fact that she can drink a case of beer and not be drunk. She can down multiple shots of tequila, but she can’t marinate a piece of chicken.
Honestly, I’m sick of girls who say that “we live in 2012, and times are different.” Having a bachelor’s degree isn’t an excuse for doing something women have been doing for centuries. And sure, maybe I’m just old fashioned, I mean, it IS the 21st century. However, I just can’t wrap my head around a man cooking for me every day/night. I feel like part of my womanhood would be taken away from me. I imagine it be similar to be fixing the sink or working on my car. Should every girl be capable of doing these things herself? Absolutely. Is it extremely attractive when a girl can change her own oil or fix a flat? Definitely! Men love that! BUT, as a man, how would you feel if every time something was wrong with your car, your girlfriend fixed it? Imagine your girlfriend knowing more about your vehicle than you do? Doesn’t that seem a little emasculating? Like if a woman had to open that tough jar of pickles for you. And women, if a guy cooked for you every night (with the exception of chefs), wouldn’t you feel slightly less feminine?
It just seems like the women of today like to complain a lot about men and their behavior, but do nothing to change their own.
Listen sweetheart, if you want a man that can fix your car, look good naked, is romantic and creative, and whatever the hell else you want, then you should probably work on having some sort of qualities to offer him, too. And no, sorry, having a career does not justify that. If you’re looking for all of those qualities in a man, you can bet your ass that men are doing the same. They want a girl who can cook. They want a girl who can nurture. For every mother that has raised her son properly, there is a male who wants to marry a woman who can do the same.
For example, my dad is a handyman and a half. He can fix anything, anytime, anywhere. He works full time, yet still finds the time to fix up our house, keep our cars maintained, have time to sit and watch the football game. So it’s no wonder why I love when a man can fix things for me. I was raised with a male figure that was able to do all of that. I imagine it would be the same if I were a guy raised in my household. My mother was a SUPER mom. She worked full time, made dinner every night, made me lunch every day, and still managed to keep our house clean and be a great wife. And not because she had to, but because she wanted to be the best mom/wife, and in our eyes, she was. She’s the reason why I cook (although, I’m not the best, I still try), like to be clean, and am a pretty damn good nurturer when it comes to relationships. Have I always enjoyed cooking? No. 18-year-old Stephany hated it. But the older I got, the more positive reactions I got from men I dated whenever I cooked, and that made me feel amazing. I’ve had multiple boyfriends/guys I’ve seen tell me that they love when I cooked for them. I had boyfriends actually tell me that a girl had NEVER cooked for them before. WHAT?!
So, call me old fashioned, but I honestly think women, by default, should know how to cook. If men get to be sexy mechanics and handymen, then be the girl who can make the kitchen sexy. What’s wrong with being a strong-willed woman with a career, that ALSO knows how to cook, keeps her place clean, and knows how to take care of her man? Is that so wrong? Is that weak? No. It’s being able to do one of the things that women can do best: multitask.
Or, you can sit in your office and complain to your co-workers about how there are “no good guys left”. But when you’re sitting alone at home wondering why guys don’t like you, ask yourself what YOU have to offer them, not just what they have to offer you. Love and relationships are two-way streets, and there’s never room to be selfish.