This week, staff writer Stephany Salinas writes about going out on a date even when you’re not quite into the other person.
In the last 2 years, I’ve been on a total of three dates.
So, I constantly get asked (no joke) by men, mainly my friends, why it is that I haven’t been out on a date lately? “It can’t possibly be a lack of options or being asked, right?”
Correct. I, just like many MANY other girls, do get asked out a decent amount. So, why not just go out fancy dates with guys? So what if you don’t like them, you’re still getting a free meal out of it, right?
And there lies the problem. I’m the kind of girl who won’t let a stranger buy me a drink, because I suddenly feel like I owe him. Whether it be my number, a dance, or something of the sort. And honestly, I’d rather buy my own drink than having to give my number to some guy I’m not really into, only to have to ignore his texts or constantly make up excuses for not wanting to go out with him.
Then, I have people saying, “Well, how do you know you aren’t going to enjoy the date?” They’re right. I don’t know that. However, I would personally rather go through wondering if I would have enjoyed it or not, than have to break it to him that I’m just not that into him. I would feel like HE would think I was using him, which is the last thing I’d ever want to do to anyone, because I know what it feels like to be used myself.
NOW. All that being said, I’ve heard opposing arguments. I’ve had guys (friends, of course) tell me that they genuinely just enjoy taking girls out on dates. They like being able to act like a gentleman (crazy, I know!), and be able to wine and dine a pretty girl. I literally had a guy friend say, “I just love going on dates. I’m a chronic date goer”.
This blew my mind. The fact that there are guys out there who are okay with a girl NOT wanting a follow up date blows my mind. I feel like it’s unnatural for a male to have put in the effort to dress up, pick up a girl, take her to dinner (or whatever cheesy cute date he came up with), drop her off at home, and not expect anything after. No sex, no kiss, not even a second date. To know that guys like this exist just totally turns my theory of them being upset about it upside down.
SO, I guess what I’m trying to get at is the opinion’s of others. Other men that are NOT my close/best guy friends. They could be bias, and just telling me these things because they don’t want me to feel bad. Or they could be legit. I have no idea. But I would LOVE to know what everyone else thinks. Men and women, actually.
Women, do you feel guilty after a date if you aren’t into the guy?
And men, do you get genuinely upset if a woman is not into you after you’ve wined and dined her for a night?