This week’s post by staff writer Stephany Salinas discusses the subject of saving sex for marriage. Do you agree? Disagree?
No sex before marriage.
Raise your hand if you are waiting until marriage to have sex.
I’m assuming not many of you did.
This is a concept I’ve never been able to understand. Granted, I’m not a very religious girl, so maybe that’s why, but I do know of people who have waited simply because they wanted to, not because some religion directed it. Personally, this sounds absolutely dangerous to me. I mean, I’m not exactly one to go around and sleep with randoms, but sleeping with one person, ever? And that’s not even what blows my mind the most. It’s more the fact that someone is waiting until marriage, the biggest commitment of them all, in order to do it. Literally.
Regardless of what anyone says, sex is important. Have you ever had sex and just weren’t really into it? Yeah, me too. I don’t get how anyone can risk finding something like that out AFTER you’ve already committed your life to this person. Now, I know, if you “love” someone, the sex should come naturally and you SHOULD bond and have that connection. I don’t know about all that.
I dated a guy a while ago that I thought I was in love with. And I was, at the time. When we had sex, it was awful! I hated it. And ultimately, I think that had a lot to do with why I fell out of love. There was no physical connection there, and the lack of it totally turned me off from the relationship (among other things, but it was a huge part of it!).
Then, there was a guy I dated a while back that I wasn’t in love with. I liked him, and I cared about him, but ultimately I just didn’t love him. Our personalities were so different, and quite frankly, he was weird. I’m almost positive I dated him strictly because I was physically attracted to him. The sex was great.
So, while sex and love are “supposed” to be linked together, I don’t think they always are. And I think it’s when you find that one person that you’re absolutely crazy about in and out of the bedroom that you realize, hey, this works. I like this.
And I’ve heard people say, “It’s not about the sex, it’s about love”. Okay, well, if sex wasn’t such an important part of love, why would you wait until marriage in the first place?
And sorry to say it sister, but if you’re saying it’s not about sex, there’s a very good chance you’re a virgin. Or a freak. And not the kinky kind. Imagine saving yourself until marriage, and finally getting to do it, and you don’t click. Then what? Are you supposed to spend the rest of your life having mediocre sex with someone because you already married them? Do you go on with your life thinking that’s it? Does your temptation/curiosity get the best of you…eventually leading to cheating?
All of it just seems so..sad.
I’m not saying it’s wrong. Some people want to save themselves for marriage. By all means, do your thing, do you boo boo. I guess I just don’t grasp the concept of being kept in the dark about something until after it’s too late to back out. Granted, there is such thing as divorce, but..would you want to get a divorce and have the reason be “the sex sucked!”?
I would love to know what other people think about this. Are you saving yourself? Do you know someone who is/has? Is this important to you? Am I nuts for thinking sex is a big part of love and marriage, and something that should be explored BEFORE marriage?