Quote of the Day

Go to bed with satisfaction in your brain and positivity in your heart. Wake with gratitude for the blessings you have and those you don’t see yet. Go forth in the world spreading love and understanding leaving yourself open to learning patience through life and having honor by respecting your fellow man and the Earth you’ve been generously given to tend.

Words on the Air

Gotta love that moment when someone you’re interested in makes a comment to you, you hear the wrong thing and comment on it. I am the latest casualty to this faux pas. What was the slip up, you may ask. Well, I happened to be filling in for a colleague named Mary at work and happen to wear a ring on my left ring finger. I thought he asked me if I was married. Weird question to ask of a fellow colleague you know in passing, but I WAS holding up my left hand at the moment to wave at him. Alas, he was only commenting that I am in fact not the person whose desk I was sitting in for a couple of days. I do a somewhat weak bounce back in saying I AM Mary for the next couple of days, but the damage is done and the bounce comes a little too late. Timing is crucial and a non-sleep deprived brain is EVERYTHING. Oh the struggles of trying to find love.

Quote of the Day

I can’t always reveal what I’m going through but know that my private battle will result in victory. I won’t always say what I’m thinking but understand that what I’m not saying is as important. I am loyal to the cause of love, acceptance and support but look within myself to pay it forward to others. I may be faced with many choices but realize that I am daily learning to always choose myself.

I Have a Healthy Sex Drive and I’m Not Ashamed of It

I’ve always been fascinated with sex from a fairly early age. I basically inhaled romance novels growing up through my high school years fantasizing what it would be like to have someone who wanted me so much that they wanted to see me naked. Amazing! I pretty much knew the mechanics of it but was holding on with a tightly clenched fist to my girlish need for everything around my “first time” to be perfect. I wanted to have my first time to be with a guy I was madly in love with who would make sure everything about that time was perfect, just like in the books. I held onto this up to adulthood (18) and even slightly past. After dating for a while and not feeling the magic I thought I should feel when I KNEW this was the right time and person, I just found a guy I thought attractive and thought to be a likely candidate for enjoyment if not romance and everlasting love and slept with him. I knew the violin swelling romance wasn’t in the cards for this assignation, but damn it! Couldn’t I at least have some enjoyment?! Sadly no, I was in that ever-widening group of people whose first time they’d rather forget.

I didn’t give up sex after that to be sure; in fact, I went through a sexual discovery mission trying out various guys from different walks of life and fulfillment reasons for my purposes for almost two years until I decided to actually try a monogamous romantic relationship. The thing you never really get from romance novels is that a true relationship takes work and doesn’t just “happen”. Even “perfect” relationships require an effort from both parties and the understanding that communication is crucial to try to avoid repeat mistakes and having the same pitfalls follow the relationship. I felt fairly open sexually and even liberated with my previous experience, but I never really got real with myself about communicating my wants and needs in the bedroom. Once it wore down or I got bored, I would leave. When I was in a relationship and didn’t get what I needed to be satisfied, I got angry. Neither of these were really healthy responses. One response gave me the opportunity to “hit it and quit it” and not really have consequences for it; but the other just made sex a struggle and added problems to the relationship because I felt that if this person really cared for me, he would just KNOW what was wrong and fix it.

Sadly, real relationships aren’t like book or movie relationships. Your significant other can’t figure you out through osmosis and problems are not solved by leaving dramatically only to have you both to figure out that you’re perfect for each other without ever having to really solve whatever caused the fight and flight in the first place. I’m sorry, but relationships do get tense and hard situations and conversations will need to occur if any growth is going to happen.

Sex is a dance, it’s poetry, it’s art, it’s a gift, it’s a question, it’s an answer, it’s a connection. Sex should never be demeaning or shameful. I’m a healthy female who enjoys sex and is not afraid of it. It took quite a bit of introspection to get real about my feelings concerning sex. When I realized that sex is every bit as much about my wants and needs as it is about the guy’s, it became far more enjoyable for me to explore. Sex is an exploration, of your wants, your needs, your boundaries. Push your boundaries and have fun but be safe about it and never let someone else decide what your boundaries should be.